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Illustrated by 


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Author of " Crescent ? and other Lyrics" &c. 







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Hontion : 


1 868. 

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I l ♦ 

Mil. I 


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&ht bumble |fteworial of tbc (ilnbcrsignob, 


Sheweth — 

(1) That your Memorialist, on making his fifth appear- 
ance in public (this time as a four-year-old), desires to 
avail himself of his prescriptive privilege as one of the 
"talking animals" to say a few words on his own 

(2) Memorialist would humbly represent that he is 
much afraid lest the fine ladies and gentlemen in the 
Grand Stand, or, still worse, those busy, earnest men 
down there, who are always making and unmaking 
books, should leave him out of the betting as an "old 




The hum 

• x perhaps refuse to put any m< re money it] 
him, because they think they have seen his best per- 

list such unkind treatment Memorialist would 

respectfully protest. II i (Memorialist's) master thinks 

(.unl Memorialist humhly thinks so too) that it's belter 

i me horse, and do all you know to mak 
winner of him. than to he constantly Starting a lot of 
animals, which may perhaps turn out to he mere 
.11. <>i likely enough urn in their 


\| i tlist also whit, poor beast, is true 

enou that when he entered for the 

Ut a foal a mere SChoolbO) of .1 

horse, as it n ilthough he hopes Ik- has 

not .!(•"! the* kind judgment of tl 

I him on that occasion, he has since under 

tnmonly sharp • training, which, whilst 

uperfluous lumber, lias put on him 



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The humble Memorial, && 

instead, he fancies, more of the real going stuff. In fact, 
in his own opinion at least, he has been gradually getting 
into form ever since his first race, and is now a different- 
looking quadruped altogether. 

(4) On his original appearance Memorialist is conscious 
that his paces were thought by some to be occasionally 
rather too frolicsome — not to say skittish. His trainer 
has, however, carefully studied to remedy this little pecu- 
liarity, and has added to the establishment some couple 
of dozen new "bits" of various degrees of solidity and 
severity for Memorialist's especial benefit ; whilst that the 
licking department generally has not been neglected may 
be gathered from the fact that he has to acknowledge the 
receipt of about the same number of extra " cuts " in 
coaching for this very race. 

(5) Under all these circumstances, Memorialist humbly 
hopes that on this, his perhaps final appearance on the 
same course, he may not be dismissed without a few 

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/'//( hum 

ouraging pats en passant from his old backers, or at 
critical judgment of his capabilities in his 
new form, 

I • ase he means winning this time, and no 

mistake ! — the Blue Riband oi Westminster Abbey, — and 
your Memorialist will ever pi 

To the most Worshipful \ the 7/i><< : 

(ami the Fourth es/ecia//v). 



The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race i 

Hovj we got to the Brighton Revieio 10 

Ivy de Millejleurs 16 

The Toad at the Great Exhibition 21 

Song of In-the- Water 24 

The Du Chailhi Controversy 27 

John Murray s Ship Gorilla . ■ 31 

The Fight for the Championship 36 

The Petition 45 

How the Daughters come dozen at Dunoon 47 

' The Poet Close ' 50 

Advertisement 53 

Our Sweet Recruiting Sergeants 54 

Sonnet 57 

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Co nt (-tits. 


Ah, If'-:.',' 59 

Trials" 61 



Lord Jolfygrtnts Courtship -4 

' 87 

> ulfy .' S9 

.'' hifhien 

• ■ • . . . ; 

r 1 ; 
The II MS 

1 n 
r 3 5 

1 1 'us , .,, 

Charge , . , 

Too : ... t . - 

, , s 


jy- hi 

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The Massacre of Glenho 151 

Ode to Hampstead 154 

Our Traveller 158 

Chinese Puzzles: — 

The Wedding Gift 159 

Etcetera 163 

What the Prince of I dreamt 168 

A Case in Lunacy . 173 

A Squeak from Dean's Yard 176 

Exexolor I 178 

The Thread of Life : 

Part L 181 

Part LI. 193 

Part LLT. 194 

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'Those thai Hobgoblin call you, and sweet Tuck, 

Vnii do their work, and they shall have good luck : 

il ymi he ' " 

' " 

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CIjc (D.tforb ani) Cambridge goat gate. 

(Some time before i860.) 

'} HERE'S a living thread 
that goes winding, 
Tortuous rather, but easy 
of finding, 
Creep and crawl 
By paling and wall — 
Very much like a dust-dry 
snake — 
From Hyde Park Corner 
right out to Mortlake ; 

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Puck on 

( !rawl and ( reep, 
By level and stc«.p. 
From Hammersmith Bridge back again to Eastcheap, — 

And all up the road from Putney to Town 
What the deuce has made the trees look so brown : 
From earliest light 
And well over night 
That dusty coil has been weaving its tt 

I lorse and man, 

uid van, 

Jog trotting along since the day began 
Rollicking, rumbling, and rolling a; 
With their heads all one \\a\ like a shoal of date; 
And beauty and gni e, 
And the Maun without nine. 
The brilliant and base, 
Silk satins and I 
And the evil in > 

n within an a»e of a general embrace, 
In spirit, at least, as they join in the chase, 


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The Oxford e° Cambridge Boat Race. 

As if the whole place 

Had set its whole face 

To see the Oxford and Cambridge Race. 

Over Putney Bridge 
There's a curious ridge — 
A swarm of something — it can't be midge 1 — 
And look, on this side, 
Where the arches are wide, 
Lie two lines of blue just breasting the tide : 
Side by side 
Like shadows they glide, 
With a background of everything wooden or steel 
That's driven by oar, sail, paddle, or wheel, 
Striving and tearing, 
And puffing and swearing, 
With the live black swarm that their decks are bearing, 
And an everlasting struggle and reel — 
Whilst over the water the merry bells peal. 

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Puck on Ptgasus. 

II '. one seen some grand, fleet lx>rse. 

\: the starting-post of an Epsom con: 
With nnstnl spread .mil chest expanding, 
Bui like a graven image standing, 
Waiting a touch t«> start into life, 
And spurn the earth in the flying stril 
Whilst anmnd, with restless eddying pace, 
»lic the troth and loam of the race 1 — 
•■><1 those two the light and dark Hues, 

With craft of a hundred shapes and hues 

That lined the Surrey side 

I so, as when sunt by wind and wheel 

h.uis thro' the cleft spray the driven keel. 

They darted up the tide. 
With a single bound, like a single man. 
Full seldom hath the brave river 
rbgethei de 

Sim h i i«u s of pride ; 

The long boats leap as they breast the tide. 
And the stout o.its bend and quh 



The Oxford &r° Cambridge Boat Race. 

11 Cambridge ! Cambridge ! " — " Now, Oxford, now ! 
Betwixt the crews 
There isn't a pin to choose — 
Not so much as the turn of a feather — 
The Cambridge eight 
Have muscle and weight, 
But the short, sharp dash 
Of the dark blue falls like a single flash, 
So wholly they pull together. 

And they pull with a will ! 
Row, Cambridge, row, 
They're going two lengths to your one, you know 
The Oxford have got the start, — 

Out and in — in, out — 
Flash, feather — feather, flash — 
Without a jerk or an effort or splash, 

It's a wonderful stroke, no doubt. 
A wonderful stroke ! but a leetlc too fast 1 

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Puck on Pegasus. 

jr-foui to the minute at least ; 
For five or six years it's been all your own way, 
But you've got your work cut out to-day, 
Give 'em the Cambridge swing, I 
The grand old stroke, with its sweep and sway. 
And send her along! never mind the spray — 
It's a mercy the pace can't last .... 
They never can live, tho' the Bridge is in sight . . 
1 la. now she lifts ' TOW, row ' . . . . 

But in spite 

< m the killing pace, and the stroke of might, 
In spite of bone and muscle and height, 

b) fool 
And flight by flight 

( >n flies tin- dark blue like a gleam of blue light, 
And the river troths like 

"Oxford, Oxford I she wins, she wins" — 
\\ . 11, you've \\<>n • the toss.' 


The Oxford & Cambridge Boat Race. 

Whilst the Cantabs must fetch 
Their boats thro' a stretch 

That's as lumpy and cross 
As can be ; 
And the men are too big, and the boat's too light, 

But look ! by the bridge, a haven in sight — 
A smooth long reach that's polished and bright — 

And Cambridge may win if she can ; — 
And the squall's gone down and the froth is past, 
And you'll find it's the pace that kills at last — 

You must pull — do you understand 1 — 
So — put your backs into it — now or never — 

Jam home your feet whilst the clenched oars quiver, 
For over the gold of the gleaming river 
They're passing you, hand over hand : 
And a thousand cheers 
Ring in their ears — 
The muscles stand out on their arms like cords, 

Brows knit and teeth close set, 
And bone and weight are beginning to tell. 

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Puck i'n Pegasus. 

And the swingeing stroke that the Cam knows well 
Will lick you yet. 
mbridge! Cambridge! again — bravo — 
Splendidly pulled now. Trinity, now — 
let the oars sweep — 
Now, whilst the shouts rise. 
And the stretched boat (lies, 
I twenty thousand eyes and hearts 
I i|> ! 

Stick to it, boys, for the bonny u'ght blue, 

how she lilts her liow 

I its Buttering silk dasht with the spray 
Steals forward now : 
Cambridge fo> eva . . 

What ails tin . i ■ w ' 

What ails the strong arm 8, unused to wax dull/ — 
And the light boat trails hke a wounded gull • • *1 

iff- *M 

The Oxford c^ Cambridge Boat Race. 

Swamped ! swamped, by Heaven ; 
Beat, in the mid fight, 
With the prize in sight, 
As they were gaining fast, 
Row, Cambridge, row ! 
Swamped, while the great crowd roared — 
Wash over wash it poured, 

Inch by inch — 
Does a man flinch % 
Row, Cambridge, row ! — ■ 
Stick to it to the last — 

Over the brown waves' crest 
Only the oarsmen's breast, 
Yet, Cambridge, row ! 
One noble stroke, pulled all together — 
One more ! . . . and a long flash in the dark river, 
And the dark blue shoots past. 

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ioto toe not to the iBrigbion Rebieto. 

I ! ' Brighton 's the pi i 

a beautiful face, 
\n<l a figure that daintily made 

And as tar as I know 
There's none other can Bhow, 
\t the right time ol yeai Baj November or so — 
Su< li lota of bewitching young lad 

Sin h M. iu a on the I '(i« i) ' 
Sii» h lounges duo' Ton n ' 
Sm h a < rush at Parade and Pavilion ! 

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How we got to the Brighton Review. 

Such beaches below 
(Where people don't go), 
Such bathing ! Such dressing, — past Madame Tussaud !- 
No wonder it catches the million ! 

For bustle and breeze 
And a snift" of salt seas, 
Oh, Brighton's the place ! not a doubt of it ; — 
But instead of post-chaise 
Or padded coupes, 
If you had to get there a Pexcursionaise — 
I think you'd be glad to keep out of it ! 
With their slap dash, crack crash, 
And here and there a glorious smash 
And a hundred killed and wounded, — 
It's little our jolly Directors care 
For a passenger's neck if he pays his fare, 
"Away you go at a florin a pair, 
The signal whistle has sounded ! " 

— PH 

Puck on Pegasus. 

Off at 1 
All hour 
The time, and carriages tight-full ; 
Why this should be 
We don't quite see, 
But of course it's all a part of the spree, 
And it's really most delightful '. 
ish, pack — 
hton and hack — 
All the way for a shilling, — 

What 'prentice tit 

But doesn't admit, 
Tho' ten in a row is an awkwardish tit. 

At the price it's ex< eedingly rilling I 

'horus of Passenget • 
( Irash, cra< k, 
Brighton and back, 

All the way for a shilling, — 

1 1 

iU hfh 

How we got to the Brighton Review. 

Tho' the speed be slow, 

We're likely to go 
A long journey before we get back d' you know, 
The pace is so wonderfully "killing"! 

Ho ! "slow" d' you find? 
Then off, like the wind — 
With a jerk that to any unprejudiced mind 
Feels strongly as if it had come from behind — 
Away like mad we clatter ; 
Bang — slap, — bang — rap, — - 

"Can't somebody manage to see what has hap 1" 

There goes Jones's head !- — no, it's only his cap — 
Jones, my boy, who's your hatter? 

S/ow it is, is it? jump jolt 
Slithering wheel and starting bolt, 
Racketing, reeling, and rocking, — 
Now we're going it !— jolt jump, 
Whack thwack, thump bump, — 

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• : • 

Pttck Oil ; 

It's a mercy we're all stuck fast in a lump, 
The permanent way is shocking I 

Aw iv we rattle- we race we fly 

Mi- Joi - i-. certain she's "going to lie," 

(We've our own ideas on that point, you and I, 
Some 'smoking' abaft the funnel!) 

■in L;runt — 
I \pre->s behind, and Luggage in front,— 

It we have good luck, we may manage to shunt 
• into the tunnel ' 

Jump, jolt, 
i that bolt, 

itOIl and ha. k for a shilling 
Jolt jump— but we've children and wives, 
Thump bump who value our lives, 

An. I you won't catch on.- lure again who survi\ 

The patent process of kili 


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Hoiv we got to the Brighton Review. 

{Chorus of Directors.) 

With our slap dash, crack crash, 
And here and there a glorious smash, 
And a hundred killed and wounded ! — 
It's little we jolly Directors care 
For a passenger's limbs if he pays his fare, 
So away you go at a florin the pair : 
The signal whistle has sounded ! 

iU O- 

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jlon l)c jtlilleflcuts 

A RIGMARl '1.1 . 


Ml I on a time, 

When pigs were swime, 
i l must have the m or else 

it won't rhyme,) 
And hogs they went without 
" DO 

In the violet air 
( >f some sunny parterre 
( where, but on this side of there) 
Bloomed Ivy the t'.iir 
l >i Millefleurs Saint < hner, 

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Jry tic Millefleurs. 

In fin island of lilies and roses. — 

'T would have made you stare 
To examine her hair — 

It was all grown of red and white posies. 

Young hyacinth locks ! 
For each lover she docks 
A tress like a garland of flowers, 
All wreathed in a braid 
By some witchery's aid 
That's warranted never to fade 
(So the maid 
Says) whilst sun follows shade, 
And the sprayed 
Rain comes down on her head thro' the bowers- 

I'm afraid 
She must want a great number of showers ! 

For her lovers, I mean, — 
For herself, sweet sixteen, 

/'//</(• ('// Pegasus, 

Countess June, Duchess Summer, perennial May-queen, 

The skies all seemed taken with dropsies; 
And morn, noon, and e'en 
They kept her so green 

No velveteen ever was seen, or moreen. 

< )r betwixt and between, 
In colour <>r sheen, 

Like the satin soft leaves in her short crinoline 
\& she glittered about thro' the copses 
I wren 
You'd have been 

In despair it you'd seen 

Those small feet at the men \ "f WOpses ! 

• to lean 
( )n .1 hand the | I M I • •; ■ \ 'O 

Hut tho 1 exquisite paws 
Palpitations maj < ause 
When they're white as tin- lilies of Vouzzum, 
And fairy hke feet 

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Ivy dc Millefleurs. 

Are remarkably neat. 
They won't act, com me vous elites. 
For a pulse that don't beat — 
I repeat, 
Nymphs tho' sweet 
Can't be reckoned complete 
When they've not got a heart in their bosom. 

But never mind, Ivy ! 
The peerless in bloom, 
Sleeping bewitchingness, dreaming perfume, 
In your own little isle of delight, love, 
If your heart is but small 
You've got beauty for all, 
And who says you're not in the right, love 1 
Tears never made a heart live, love ; 
Smiles you have showers to give, love ; 
And the wreaths of your spells 
Are all Immortelles, 
For they've nothing that time cares to blight, love. 




■ loom away, I\\. 
And Ivy shall bloom, 
Glimmering sweetnesses, shedding perfume, 
In her own fairy isle <>t' delight, love, 
[f she'd no heart at all, 
I would .-till be her thrall. 
\ml swear I was perfectl) right, love, 
Wouldn't \"u. 

Sweetheart, too ' . . . . 
['hen there's . for a rosy goodnight, lovi 


To face p 

*H — <>- 

(Tire Coat) at tin 6 teat a^^Ijtbition. 

H, who is this stranger so black, 
This Toad in the very small 
That ages since grew in the crack 
Of the tree that's now grown 
into coal ? 

It's clear he was famous of yore, 
His blood is the sangre a/.nl ; 

His quarters are vert pique noir, 

And Ins arms hoppant a la Grenouillc 

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Puck on Pegasus. 

Then what awe must each bosom o'erspread 
As we gaze on that petrified hark ; 

On the liu-^t of this quaint figure-head 
That lias yachted with Noah in the ark : 

When we think that these somnolent eyes 
With morning primaeval awoke, — 

That this solo (though sweet for its size) 

Preluded Lab'rinthodon's croak' 
Come Mammoth ami Mastodon back, 

[guanodon, Saurian -rim — 
Nou ni.iy rattle your hones till they n.u k. 
But you ( ant hold a < amlle to him : 

Trap, oolite, granite, ami gneiss — 

line's a Stratum will give you a hint. 

■ s, you're shelved in a ti ;■ 
Sand, has, stalactite, ami tlmt : 


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The Toad at the Great Exhibition. 

Hence, Ammonites ! yield to your fate — 

You are gravelled for many a year ; — 
Quartz, silica, porph'ry, and slate, 

Walk your chalks ! you've no chance with what's here. 

For there's nothing in bone or in shell 

So ancient the savans can show, 
As the 'restes' of this black little swell — 

As the case of poor Johnny Crapaud ! 


— ¥i 


^onn of ^n-thc-oc'lnlcr. 

V U 



1 1 1 \ the summer night 
Sleepy, on the White 
witch water, 
< lame a lithe and lovelj 
1 , izing on the silent water 

on the gleaming river — 
Willi her azure eyes and tender, 
( >n til*- 1 1\ ei L'l.iiH ing i"i ward, 
Till the am'rous wave sprang upward, 

-O — Hi 

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Song of J /i -the- Water. 

Upward from his reedy hollow, 

With the lily in his bosom, 
With his crown of water-lilies — 

Curling ev'ry dimpled ripple 

As he sprang into the starlight, 

As he clasped her charmed reflection 

Glowing to his crystal bosom — 
As he whispered, " Fairest, fairest, 
" Rest upon this crystal bosom ! " 

And she straightway did according : — 

Down into the water stept she, 

Down into the wavering river, 
Like a red deer in the sunset — 
Like a ripe leaf in the autumn : 
From her lips, as rose-buds snow-filled, 
Came a soft and dreamy murmur, 
Softer than the breath of summer, 
Softer than the murm'ring river, 
Than the cooing of Cushawa, — 


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Puck on Pegasus. 

that melted as the snows melt, 
Silently and sweetly melted ; 
Sounds that mingled with the crisping 
Foam upon the billow resting: 

Vet she spoke not, only murmured. 

From the Forest shade primeval, 

. looked OUt at her ; 

lie, the very Youthful Porker — 
He, the Everlasting Grunter — 

Gazed upon her there, and wondered' 

\\ ith his nose out, Roke) poki 

And lu> tail up. ( 'urley w urley — 
Wondered what on earth the joke was, 
Wondered the girl was up to — 

What the deuce her little game was — 
Win she didn't Squeak and grunt more! 

And she floated down the river, 
Like a water prool < >phelia — 

To face p. 26. 

IH 0- 

(tbc £lu CbuiKu Controbcrsn. 

{After the "Snapping 'fur//..") 

AVE you read B. P. Du 
Chaillu 1 

Chaillu of the Big 

Baboon 1 
He who slew the 

fierce Gorilla 
In the Mountains 

of the Moon ? 

All day long that injured person 
Rested on the boughs his chin 

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— & 


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/'//<>(• (»// Pegasus. 

Strangling spifflicated niggers 

Just to keep his bi< eps in. 

Nightly several score of lions 
Yielded up their worthless lives . 

And there was a cry in Mick! 
For the King had lo>t his wives. 

Wrathful uras the sable monarch 

At their unexpected hops . 
For the brute had cooked the gruel 

( )i the Nymphs who cooked the chops! 

this land of death and danger, 

Mandrake-swamp and stagnant ten. 

Where the spiders look like aSS 

row like men) — 


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iH — o- 

<H — o- 

77/6' Du Chaillu Controversy. 

Where the Shniego-Bmouve sitteth 
Hairless underneath his hat, 

And a white man is a dainty 
Irresistible if fat, — 

Where the alligator gambols — 

Whale-like — in the black lagoon ; — 

Went unscathed B. P. Du Chaillu, 
Chaillu of the Big Baboon I 

Found the Bmouve'-Shniego sitting, 
Lengthwise, in the stagnant brake, 

Saw the spiders — saw the asses — 
(When he gazed into the lake) — 

Twigged the Crocodile stupendous, 
Winking with ferocious eye, — 

Caught the Cannibals — the feasters 
( )n rold missionary pie ; — 


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Puck on /', %OSUS, 

shot, and bagged, the fierce Gorilla, 
To the music of the drum, — 

Heard, fifteen miles off, his roaring, 
Mellowed to a gentle hum ! 

What, you doubt me ! gen'rous public, 
Hear me swear it's no take in — 

Owen says the throat's a larynx. 

And look here's the beggar's skin ! 

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|ojm itlurran's SJriji 6ori(lu. 

{To Ihc Twte of "Yankee Doodle Dandy.") 


; fefci 

OW listen, all you 'possums, 

And you angeliferous blossoms, 

s 'Bout the cruizin' of a clipping craft 

I'll tell yer, O ; 

|g" The stars and stripes she bore 

Floatin' gaily at the fore, 

ame it was John Murray's 
ship Gorilla, O ! 

^'T And her nr 

The Skipper was Du Chally, 
(Twigg the likeness to Sir Ralleigh ?) 

iti — o- 

— o — R3- 

Puck on Pegasus. 

I o extinguish Bruce and Duncan just the feller, O; 

Sez he, " My lads, set sail ! 

"Give her bunting to the gale— 
" Who'll dare tread upon the tail of my Gorilla, 01 

•■ ( >ur decks what loafer climbs I 
"Here's a spankin' 'puff' by Times 
Comin' curlin' down her topmast like a wilier, Oj 
•• The Trade monsoon's arisen ! 
"Shake a reef out of the mi/en — 

And success to tight John Murray's ship Gorilla, 

But whilst they was imbibin', 

And a I ha!! Yin' and a gibin', 

And I'ii Chall) was a chucklin' like to beller, 
Came something hard and black, 
With an ark'ard kind of 'thwack,' 

lust amidships of John Murray's ship Gorilla, 01 

-0 Hi 


*H — o- 

-o — Hi 

John Murray's Ship Gorilla. 

When right in front appearin 4 

With redoubted Gray a steerin' 
Rushed the Tizer and the Blazer mad to sell her, O • 

" Luff Ho ! " their captain cried, 

" Give the Yankee a broadside, 
"Here's a settler for John Murray's ship Gorilla, O." 

Then each man stood to his gun, 

And they blazed away like fun 
Whilst Du Chally tugged and twisted at the tiller, O ; 

Like Armstrong's ninety-eights 

They pounded in his 'plates,' 
And the figure-head of J.M. S. Gorilla, O ! 

Down came his flag a mucker 

And they fancied he had struck her, 
And the skrimmagin' and pepperin' grew shriller, O ; 

But Du Chally cried "Avast! 

" Nail her colours to the mast, 
"Lads, you hav'n't seen the last of the Gorilla, !" 

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J ''nek en Pegasus. 

So scarcely had he spoke, 

When a loomin' thro" the smoke, 
All a flashin' and a bangin' 'nough to kill yer, Oj 

Comes Murchison and Owen, 

With a jolly squad in towin', 
Bearin' down to help John Murray's ship Gorilla, <>' 

Smart " liners " in variety 

' ail'd t' the R'yal Society, 
All a ridin' so majestic on the biller, < I . 

Aloft the signal ran 

11 The A'..S. 'j/m'/.v every man 
'• Will shtytO fight for Stout John Murray's ship Gorilla, O '." 

Fire flashed from Owen's eyes, sir, 

A he \ IV< the martial "l'i/er 
A hot shot t\\i\t wind and water, like to fill her. <>: 

And Sir Rod'rick com'd and < haffd 
\ he raked her lore and aft, 
Side by side with l>ra\e John Murray's ship Gorilla, 0! 


-0 Hi 

John Murray's Ship Gorilla. 

It would take a week to tell you 

How they went at it pellmello, 
And the Blazer and the Tizer got a spiller, O ; 

How gallant Captain Gray 

From a roar, changed to a bray, 
And tried the long-bow on John Murray's ship Gorilla, (). 

So I'll leave it an hiatus 

For S. Hubert, his afflatus, 
And with Owen a curvetting fit to thrill yer, O, — 

Chally tootin' of his horn — 

Gray still sticking to his stern — - 
Drop the curtain on John Murray's ship Gorilla, O. 

<H — o- 

-o k 

(The JftCjIrt for the (f b;impionship. 


\!<(il. Heenan of Renicia, 

By ninety-nine gods he swore, 
That the bright Belt of England 
S mid grace her sons no 
By ninety-nine he swore it. 

named the " fisting 
\. — 
•• East and west and SOUth and north," 
Said Kit hard Ma\ne, '"ride forth, ride forth. 

•• \nd summon mine array." 

"Ride forth by heathy Hampshire, 

■ Of ' « halk stn am studded ' dells. 


The Fig/it for the Championship. 

" And wake the beaks of Eversley 

" Where gallant Kingsley dwells ; 
" Spur fast thro' Berkshire spinneys, 

" The broad Hog's Back bestride, 
" And if the White Horse is scoured 

" Mount up amain and ride : 
"Spur, spur, I say, thro' England 

" As the Giaour once spurred thro' Greece, 
" Tho' Sayers were six he cuts his sticks, 

" And Dickon keeps the peace." 


Fast, fast, thro' town and hamlet 

The smart Detectives flew — 
East and west and south and north 

They watched the long day thro', 
West and north — east and south 

The woi'd went Hashing by, 
" Look out for Sayers and Heenan, 

" Policemen- — -mind vour eve !" 



Puck on Pegasus. 

Sir Ki< hard's bold moss-troopers 

I. ix.kcd out un< ommon keen, 
From park and plain and prairie. 

From heath and upland green ; 
From Essex fens and Fallows, 

From Hampshire dale and down — 
From Sussex 1 hundred leagues <>f --and. 
To Shropshire's fat and flowery land, 
And Cheshire's wild and wasted strand, 

\nd Yorkshire's heather brown; 

And so, of course, the fight came ofl 

A do/en miles from Town. 

M first slept "in big Heenan, 
I* he 1 f< »r breadth and length ; 
And in his ( best it might be gues 
I !•■ hnd unnlensnnt 


To face p. 

iiA — 0- 

-C H* 

*M — c- 

The Fight for the Championship. 

And to him went the Sayers 

That looked both small and thin. 
But well each practised eye could read 
The "lion and the bull-dog" breed, 
And from each fearless stander-by 
Rang out that genuine British cry, 
" Go in, my boy, — and win ! " 


And he went in — and smote him 

Through mouth-piece and through cheek 
And Heenan smote him back again 

Into the ensuing week : 
Full seven days thence he smote him, 

With one prodigious crack, 
And tli' undaunted Champion straight 
Discerned that he was five feet eight, 

When flat upon his back : — 
Whilst a great shout of laughter 

Rose from the Yankee pack. 



<H — o- 

Puck i'ii Pegasus. 


As from the flash the bullet, 
( >ut sprang the Champion then, 

And dealt the huge Benician 
A vast thump on the chin ; 

And thrice and tour times sternly 
Drove in the shatt'ring Mow ; 

And thrice and four times wavered 

The herculean fee : 
And his great arms swung wildly. 

Like ship-masts, to and fro. 

And now no sound of laughter 
\\ .1 ^ heard from either Bide, 

Whilst feint, and draw, and rally, 
The i autious Bruisers tried : 

And long they sparred and countered 
Till Heenan sped a thrust 

So tier< e and (pink, it swept away 


-o — Hi 

The Fight for the Championship. 

Th' opposing guard like sapling spray,— 
And for the second time that day 
The Champion bit the dust. 


Short time lay English Sayers 

Upon the earth at length, 
Short time his Yankee foeman 

Might triumph in his strength ; 
Sheer from the ground he smote him 

And his soul went with the blow — 
Such blow no other hand could dash — 
Such blow no other arm could smash — 

The giant tottered low ; 
And for a space they sponged his face, 

And thought the eye would go. 

Time's up ! — Again they battle ; 
Again the strokes fly free ; 





Puck on Pegasus. 

But S -lit arm — that arm ot pride 

Nmw dangles pow'rless by his side, 

Plain for all < j es to see ; 
\nd thro' that long and desperate shock 
fwo mortal hours on the clock — 
l'.\ sheer indomitable pluck 

With his lift hand fought he ! 


With his left hand he fought him, 

Though he was sore in pain, 
lull twenty times hurled backw 

Still pressing on again 
u ith his left hand he fought him, 

Till ea< h < ould fight no more . 
rill Sayers could scarce!) strike a blow, 
I'iII I let-nan could not see his I. 
Such fighting England never knew 

I pon her soil before ' 

The Fight for the Championship. 

They gave him of the standard 

Gold coinage of the realm, 
As much as one stout guardsman 

Could carry in his helm: 
They made him an ovation 

( >n the Exchange hard by, — 
And the)' may slap their pockets 

In witness if I he. 

And every soul in England 

Was glad, both high and low, 
And books were voted snobbish, 

And "gloves" were all the go; 
And each man told the story, 

Whilst ladies' hearts would melt, 
How Saycrs, the British Champion, 

Did battle for the Belt. 

m — o- 

— H? 



Puck on Pegasus. 

And still, when Yankees swagger 
lli" almighty "stars and stripes," 

And put eternal bunkum 

Into their neighbours' pipes — 

With joke and gibe and banter 
1 ong shall the tale be told, 

llm\ stout Tom Sayers kepi the 1 >«-- 1 1 

And Yankee I >OOdle sold ' 



EH — o ■ — — — o — m 

Clje petition. 

^ ! pause awhile, kind gentleman, 
Nor turn thy face away ; 
There is a boon that I must ask, 
A prayer that I would pray. 

Thou hast a gentle wife at home ? 

A son — perchance like me — 
And children fair with golden hair 

To cling around thy knee ? 

Then by their love I pray thee, 
And by their merry tone ; 

By home, and all its tender joys, 
Which I have never known, — 


-^ HI 

Puck on Ptgiisus. 

I'.\ .ill the smiles thai luiil thee now 

By every former si 
B) every pang that thou hast felt 

When lone, perchance, as I. — 

By youth and all its blossoms bright, 

By manhood's ripened fruits, 
r.\ Faith and I lope and ( lharit) 

, S i-r'll let me (lean \ci bo< >t^ 




To /ate p. 46. 

pofo the Oiuiqbtcrs tome oohjn at riunoon. 

tf\ 0- 

(By R—b—t S—th—y.) 

There statidyth on the om side of Dunoon, a hill or moleock of pass) 

tteepnesse, and right slipperie withal; whereupon, in gaye times, 

y c youths and y" maidens of that towne do exceedingly 

disport themselves and take their pleasaunce ; 

runnynge both uppe and downe with great 

glee and joyousnesse, to the much 

endangerment of then- fair 

nekkes. " 

KlRKE's Memoirs. 

OW do the Daughters 
Come down at Dunoon? 

— Hi 


*H — o- 

Ho%v the Daughters come down at Dunoon. 

Feathers a-flying all — bonnets untying all — 
Crinolines rapping and flapping and slapping all, 
Balmorals dancing and glancing entrancing all, — 

Feats of activity— 
Nymphs on declivity — 
Sweethearts in ecstasies — 
Mothers in vextasies — 

Lady-loves whisking and frisking and clinging on 
True-lovers puffing and blowing and springing on, 
Flushing and blushing and wriggling and giggling on, 
Teazing and pleasing and wheezing and squeezing on, 
Everlastingly falling and bawling and sprawling on, 
Flurrying and worrying and hurrying and skurrying on, 
Tottering and staggering and lumbering and slithering on, 

Any fine afternoon, 

About July or June 

That's just how the Daughters 

Come down at Dunoon ! 



— Hi 

<H — o- 

-: ~ 


4 (The jpoct (L lose' 

(Mr. "Barney Afagw unt.) 

CH! botheration! what a^perturbation 
And exasperation in the Pi 

At the first mintion of tin- Queen's 
fo confer a pinsion on the Poj i 

< i ■ i-i ! 
There was the True-blues-man and 
the Farthin newsman 
All in the confushan fightin cheek by jowl : 

And the Whi^s ami Tories forgett'n their fr- 
ill their indignation and giniral howl I 

-©- ••• 

-o — H* 

iH — o- 

' 2Vie Poet Close? 

First the Tittle-tattle and the Penny-rattle 

Led off the battle with a puny squake, 
Whilst the Big tin-kettle and the 'heavy metal' 

His hash for to settle took the liberty to spake ; — 
" Shure 'twas most ongracious, not to say owdacious, 

"And enough to bring the wather to their eyes, 
" To take the loaves and fishes from the chilthren's 

" And bestow the Royal Bounty in such wise ! 

" If so be that noble Er-rls and infarior chur-rls 

" Has parties they don't love and daresen't bate, 
" Let them squaze their purses to choke off the curses 

'• And not foist their verses on the Public State ! 
" 'Twas a worse than jobbery, and a right down robbery. 

" For to give the ruffian fifty pounds a year, 
" Becase the swate nobilities were dhreading his civilities, 

" And ould Lord Lonsdale in a state of bodily fear. 

" Themselves despiting, there was Carlisle writing, 
" And Brougham inditing of saft-sardering notes, 


-0 R* 



Puck on Pegasus. 

•'And Viscount Palmerston a-chuckling at the harm he's 

" And (lipping his fingers in the county votes, — 
'• 'Twoirld be a wrong entirely, to be repinted direly, 

"If the scribbling blackguard <>n 'the List' was placed, 
"And should the Legislature support the crature 

"Then foT sartin shure the counthry was disgraced!" 

the papers thundered, and the paple wondered 
Whose nose had blundered into this hornet's nist ; 

And the Queen, Heav'n bless her! the Roy'l Redhn 
Struck Clone's name out of the Civil List 

Och ! then, what ;i rowing and a rubadub-dow-ing 

And universal crowing filled the air, 

With .1 gin'ral hissing, hut Lord Pam was missing, 

Vnd in.ikm for the house-top b) the -met st.iir ! 



OST, stolen, or strayed ! — Goodness only 

knows which — 
A confoundedly ugly terrier bitch. 
Coat short, fore-legs long, colour mud" 
dyish black. 
(Item — bites freely:) no hair on the back : — 
Whoso brings the above to Old-Lady Place East, 
Will be rewarded ! ! (by getting rid of the beast). 


iU — c- 

-0 Hi 

*H — o- 

-o — B> 


ia ■ 

0nx §toed Recruiting Sergeants, 

I -. •// before >. I '/<//, 

//<■/• fovfej of gold fell iter >' 

EDW \KI> AMi T A. 

OME look from the window with me, 
Charley love, 
They are marching this way thro' the 
om : 
With I latter of steel, 
Ami echoing peal, 
Ami a ringing reverb'rating hum 

\ i they i ome ; 
To the tuck of the Volunteer drum. 

I the tuck of the Volunteer drum — 
( >ur own \ (ihmt! • rley mine, — 

. now their aims glam 

•• Front form ' left— advance I " 
As the long column wheels into line 

It's divine 

I .. w it. h how then knoneU shine. 


Our Sweet Recruiting Sergeants. ' 

From village and town they have drawn, 
They've gathered from lowland and height, — 

Their lasses have braced 

The steel to their waist, 
And armed them for England and right, 

and to fight 
For the banner that's waving to night. 

Gallant hearts ! they are bound to our own, — 
They are linked by each tie that endears, — 

By hopes and by pray'rs — 

By smiles and by tears — ■ 
Long, long ring those shouts in our ears ! 

Hark, three cheers- 
Three times three for our brave Volunteers ! 

Adieu ! the bright pageant grows dark, — 
Their ranks are beginning to fade — 

The last glimmer dies . . . 

There's a mist in my eyes — 

9 9 

■ 0—+: 


<H — 0- 

llu-ir \oiii-s come faint thro' the shade, 
That' ight t<> our Rifle I 

I'm afraid 

-0- HI 

-> HI 

Tofaccj, -/ 

*H — o- 

-o — m 

*H — o- 



(Substituted for that to Mr. Tupper in former editions.) 

H Puck, O Pennell ! didst thou write a 
To Martin Tupper, love of many a 
Wherein thou pouredst vials hot and 
And saidst some things more sweet to leave unsaid, — 
And did that wronged, but calm and jubilant swan, 
Stung with just wrath, thy vanities reprove, 
Yet with fair speech and less in hate than love 


Puck I'll /' • 

Acting his own philosophy, heart-strong? 

Then lor thy sins, Pennell, shalt thou sit, 
\nd with expiant agonies give birth 
ro the worst Sonnet ever sung on earth, 

And it shall stand for that which thou hast writ . 
shall thy breast of conscience prick have case. 

And injured Tupper poetize in |" 

IH -0- 


*H — o- 

-0 Hi 

M, ttUbo ? 

HO comes so damp by grass and 
At ghastly twilight hour, 
p And bubbles forth his pois'nous 
On ev'ry shudd'ring flow'r? 

Who dogs the houseless wanderer 

Upon the wintry wold : 
And kisses — with his frothy lips — 

The clammy brow and colli D 

Who, hideous, trails a slimy form, 

Betwixt the moonlight pale, 
And the pale, fearful, sleeping face? — 

«H — o- 

-o — H*. 

Puck on Pegasus. 

< >ur little friend — the Snail 


JH — o- 

£bi(n Cnals."' 


UNCH, sir? yes-ser, pickled salmon 

Cutlets Kidneys Greens 
and " " Gammon ! 

Have you got no wholesome 

meat, sir? 
Flesh or fowl that one can 
eat, sir?" 
" Eat, sir ? yes-ser, on the dresser 
Pork, sir" — "Pork, sir, I detest, sir" — 
"Lobsters?" "Are to me unblest, sir" — 
"Duck and Peas?" "I can't digest, sir" — 
•'Puff, sir?" "Stuff, sir!" "Fish, sir?" "Pish, sir!" 
•■Sausage?" "Sooner eat the dish, sir — 
Hath the Puppy charms for Briton ? 
Can the soul rejoice in Kitten ?" 


*H — c- 

-o — Hi 


Puck on i 

Shrimps, sii ■'■; prawns, sir? crawfish? winkle? 

lops ready in a twinkle ? 
Wilks and cockles, crabs to follow 
■• I [eav'ns, nothing I can swallow*! 

• \\ Ml W 

'• Yes sar." 
u Bread for tweet] 
I shall starve in midst i t pie Ij 

<; ,i 

-o — Hi 

a] — o- 

cbool "jftebs." 

^\f Y, there they sit ! a merry rout 
As village green can show 
That were such woful little wights 
A summer hour ago. 

Such woful weary little wights! 

And very hungry too — 
And now they look like sausages 

All smiling in a row. 

iH — o- 

-o — ya. 

<H— <- 

Puck on Pegasus. 

Foi they have fed on dainty Uvc 

This blessed August day, 
\nd ate— as only people cat 

When other people p 

A p) ramid of roasted ox 

I la> vanished like a shot ; 
Plum puddings, brobdignag, have gone 

The set ond time, to pot ; 

Deluded fowls have come to grief, 
With perse* uted 

And ducks (it IS a \\ n ked world !) 

1 departed life in peas. 

\!v Lord and Lady Bountiful 

I lave done the ch il thing, — 
i lady patrons ol the turf 

I I ited in the Ring . 


-o — k* 

School " Feeds T 

The Grand Comptroller of the cake 
Can hardly hold the knife ; 

The milk-and-water Ganymede 
13 weary of her life ; 

Yet still the conflict rages round ! 

But now there comes a lull — 
The edge of youthful appetite 

Is waxing somewhat dull — 
And fat Fenetta bobs, and says 

" No, thank ye, mum, — I'm ' ml ' ! 

Alone amid the festive throng 

One tiny brow is sad ! 
One cherub face is wet with grief — 

What ails yon little lad? 





Pink on Pegasus. 

Why still with scarifying sleeve 

That tearful visage rul>? 
Ah ' much I tear, my gentle boy, 
You don't enjoy your grub ! 

Vou're altogether off VOUT teed, 

Your laughing looks have tied, — 
Perhaps some little faithful friend 
punched your little head? 

You misfl some well remembered face 

The merry rout among ? 
The lips that blest, the .inns that prest, 

The aeck to which you clung? 

A brother's voice? a sister's smile? 

Peri p you've bumf vow tongw 


iiA — o- 


School " Feeds." 

Here, on a sympathetic breast, 
Your tale of suff'ring pour. 

Come, darling ! tell me all 

" Boo-hoo ;- — 
" I can't eat any more ! " 

iH — o- 



gcrbn 0;in. 

1 1 ! who will over the Downs 

with me? 
Over Epsom Downs, and awa) 
The Sun has got a tear in his 

And the moming mists arc li^ht 
and high ; — 
We shall have a splendid day. 

And splendid it is, by all that's hot ' - 

. 8 


— o — hf* 

Derby Day. 

A regular blaze on the hill ; 
And the turf rebounds from the light-shod heel 
And the tapering spokes of the delicate wheel 
With a springy-velvety sort of a feel 

That fairly invites " a spill." 
Splendid, I say, but we musn't stop, 
The folks are beginning to run : 
Is yonder a cloud that covers the course? 
No, it's fifty thousand — man and horse — 
Come out and see the fun. 

So — just in time for the trial spin ; 
The jocks are cantering out, — 
We shall have the leaders round in a crack, 
And a hundred voices are shouting " back," 
But nobody stirs a foot ! 
There isn't a soul a soul will budge 
So much as an inch from his place, 
Tho' the hue of the Master's scarlet coat 




J 'uck oh Pegasus. 

ts .. joke compared to his fat e. 
•• [\o the ropes! to the ropes!" — 
\<>w sti< k to your hold, — 
\ breezy Butter of crimson and gold, 

And the crowd arc swept aside. — 
can sec (the brim of my hat in your eyes? 

< )h, nonsense — ) the i they fall and rise 

Like a swarm of variegated tlies 

( loming glittering up the ride ; 

' l'> the ropes, for yOUT life! . . Here they come . . 
there they go — " 

The exquisite graceful tin: 

In the \er\ s|H.rt of their Strength and pride: 

ii ' that's the Favourite— look at his stride, 

It suggests tile idel of wi: 

And tin- glossy neck is arched and firm 
In spite «>f the flying pa< e ; 

The jockey sli< ks to his li.ii. k like glue, 
And his hand is • pi it k and his eye ifl true. 
i u hati\ er skill and pluck I in do 


■* — :•• 

rEH Hi 

Derby Day. 

They will do to get the race. 

The colt with the bright broad chest, 

Will run to win to day — 

There's fame and fortune in every bound 

And a hundred and fifty thousand pound 

Staked on the gallant Bay ! 

"They're off!" .... 
And away at the very first start, 
" Hats down ! hats down in front ! 
" Down there, you sir in the wide-awake ! " 
The tightened barriers quiver and shake 
But they bravely bear the brunt. 

A hush, like death, is over the crowd — 
D'you hear that distant cry ? . . . 

Then hark how it gathers, far and near, 
One rolling, ringing, rattling cheer 
As the race goes dashing by, 


*H — c- 


Puck on /'(-<tius. 

And away with the hats and caps in the air, 
And the horses seem to fly ! . . . 

Forward I forward! at railway speed, 
There's one that has fairly taken the lead 
In a style that can scarce miscarry \ 
< >vcr and on, like a flash of light, 
And now his colours are coming in sight, 
Favourite I Favourite I — scarlet and white — 
He'll win, by the Lord Harrj 1 1 
It he <an but clear the Corner, I say, 
The I 'cili) is lost and won— 
It's .1 fearful shave, but he'll do the trick, 

NOW I Now ! -well ridden he's passing it quick. 

Il.'s round I . . . 

No, he isn't; he's broken his neck. 

And the jo< key his collar hone : 
And the whirlwind race is over his head, 
Without Stopping to ask if he's living or dcad,- 
t In 1 1- ever SUch rudeness known? 



:• " • • : 

-o — H*. 

Derby Day. 

He fell like a trump in the foremost place- 
He died with the rushing wind on his face- 
At the wildest bound of his glorious pace — 
In the mad exulting revel ; 
He left his shoes to his son and heir, 
His hocks to a champagne dealer at Ware, 
A lock of his hair 
To the Lady-Mare, 
And his hoofs and tail to the devil. 



MT o r D ^ollnnrccn's CL ourtbhip. 

\ POST WBJTBI TO BIS ik!isi> / rv HATCH. Th 


■ it thtpur} 

< i Ho, Hi Ha, II- Mr. Hum ' ' 

Charley, let me weep adown \<>ur 
Manly bosom! o'er thut chamber, 
hum surely run ad lil>i. 



H — o -o — : 

Lord Jollygreen's Courtship. 

I'm a victim ! friend and pitcher ! — done incontinently 
brown — your 
Poet is immensely diddled by a — but narrabo tibi : — 

(There's a Lady, who writes verses, in the true spasmodic 

metre, — 
Better writes she, certes, better, than all women without 

end : 
Writes full darkly : — I defy all Bards alive or dead to 

beat her 
At a nubibustic stanza that no man can comprehend — 

Her sublime afflatus had I, and her noble scorn of 

I could write you something tallish — should make Lindley 

Murray suffer, — < 

L iW — o— — 



Puck on Pegasus. 

Would she •' lean her spirit" o'er me, in this rhympho- 

leptic (-limiting,* 
I would paint My COURTSHIP in a style would make you 

stare, Old Buffer!)— 

\..i know, Charley, where I saw my Marianne (first) in 

Belgravia ; 
Ami (mi undo) how I loved her, with more love than 

kith or kin do ! 
I I won, and wed her yestermorri and her 

ia\ iour 

Shall hear in 6v« words last night, ftitf r xo.fusoi fry 
th* Window 

(| mj Charley, jrou remember on that cold fifth of 

\ nd in »/i (•»/ mount to tl 


Lord Jolly greeris Courtship. 

As we sauntered slowly eastward, with the weed between 

our lips ; 
How we spied a damsel beauteous, lymphomatically 

(Id est: cook at Number 7, scrubbing of the kitchen steps) 

Charley, you and I remember, on that bright fifth of 

How she knelt there like a statue, — knelt bare-armed 

in the breeze, — 
Whilst her saponaceous lavement catalambanized the 

And her virginal white vesture fluttered, reefed-wise, to 

the knees. 

Spell-bound in the road behind her, paused the Hurdy 

Gurdy Grinder, 
Strangling in his aberration Jumping Jimmy the baboon ; 

<?4— — — ffl. 


Puck on 

Whilst the Genius of the Organ, fa» bated by her (iorgon 
! enraptured captured— playing wildly out 
of tunc. 

Then with her blue eyes entrancing, and her taper ankle 

glan< ing, 
And her rounded arms akimbo resting on her dainty 

waist ; 

She half turned, and turning threw me one glance 

" utterly to undo me" — 

(Well, I swear 'twas >"<■ she looked at, Charley, and she 

showed her tasb 

more my soul beguiling, in arch silence she ke|>t 

smiling — 

And my heart within my bosom, pretematurally hopped. 
Still as near I drew, and nearer, fairer she grew and 
fairer (1) — 


j- HI 

uA — o- 

Lord Jolly green 'x Courtship. 

On both knees upon the pavement (Miles's bags, my 
Boy) I dropped. 

Then — but why should I confide you, what you know as 

well as I do ? 
How she looked up like an angel, (I can see her figure 

still !) 


-o — k* 

o — \\\ 


-;■ — Hi 


Puck ci: 

■• I and yours, sir, it you'll take me — if you'll marry me 
and make me 
\ fine Lady, or a I Hichess— won't you?" "Jove.'' 
I. '• I will : " 

How thenceforward every morning, wet and wind and 

weather scorning. 
By the steps of Number 7. punctual as the clock I past, — 
How my love grew daily stronger— strength'ning as the 

days grew longer — 
fill my Marianne consented, and we named the (.lay at last. 

How my Queen of cake and curry volunteered a muffin- 
worrj . 

How I fondlj made my advent somewhat ere the time 

pread, — 
And on going to the Cupboard like a KCOnd Mother 

I [ubbard, 
Found the same, not "bare," hut fill'd with six net one 
oi 1 [one < ruards Red. 

.\ard ' 'tiN m\ only brothi 1 "Silence, M 


-o — k* 

Lord Jollygreeiis Courtship. 

" Come out of your cupboard, Lobster ! from your shell, 

O, private Brown, — 
"Slave! (I said) base Kitchen-creeper! (said I) I will 

close your peeper ! 
" I will tap your claret, Lobster, — I'll — ' 

but here he knocked me down. 

-©— m 

<H — «- 

Puck on Pegasus. 

How, soon after, whilst at breakfast, si. 

to make 
When a step was heard descending swiftly by the kite hen 

pair, — 
.\n<l a voice cried "Now l\e caught her!" "Gracious! 

jump into the v.ater- 
" Butt that's standing dry and empty, underneath the 

laundry stair ! " 

lo make this tale a I I low I jumped into 

the w i 

Which just then stood dry, but ev'ry mom was fiU'd some 
eight feet deep, 

I low they pumped the water in it, ere I'd been ensconced 

,i minu 

And I rushed back to the kitchen looking like a drowndrd 

ep I 

II iw, still chained bj 1 <>ve the Fetterer, spite of cupboard 

and etcetera, 


-■> — M> 


Lord Jollygreeri s Courtship. 

To Cremorne next day I took her, in a highly liberal 

manner ; 
Purveyed buns and ices satis, and a sherry-cobbler 

— gratis ! 
(Tho' you know I do not, Charley, love to separate from 

a tanner) — 

How, when ev'rything was paid for, fun and fireworks 

only stayed for ; 
And my Marianne had eaten ev'rything that she was 

able ; 
Whilst the Resonant Steam-Dragon* (that's the tea-pot), 

and the flagon 
Of Lymphatic Cow (that's milk), stood smiling on the 

arbor table, — 

•' Might she just step out and find her parasol she'd left 
behind her? 

* " She has halls and she has castles, and the resonant Steam-Eagles 
"Follow far on the direction of her little dove-like hand." 

— — r* 


<H — fr- 

•■ \\ hilst I kindly poured the tea out, and the cream that 

lookM so yellow ? " — 
Yellow? II'. ha! blue, green, sink it!— She never came 

back to drink it : — 
I fell flummoxed in a brown.* {study, understood, old 

fellow ). 

Hot? well 'twas bul hearts am't tin tacks ('mantium 

vide syntax) 
Even then 1 couldn't spurn her satin-tongued, soap-soft 

.is silk, — 

me his heart could harden, so divinel) asked foi 
pard< hi 
I imbibed the obvious crammer mildlj as mj mother's 


Viperl (said I) ind forgave her and she promised to 

behave her 
Sell in future like an angel (which she did, including 

• . ."II in n dark 

I • t •:- 


Lord Jollygreen 's Courtship. 

And I fancied yestermorning (ass) that my reward was 

dawning, — 
So it was — and with a vengeance ! (ass again) But some 

one rings ? — 

Twas a cruel thing — but funny? — her eloping with her 

Moon just risen ? — cutting, very, — and for me the world 

is dead. 
Slightly crushing to my hopes is this performance on the 

ropes ! Miss 
Marianne suspensa scalis — (would 'twere sus. per col. 

instead !) 

Ass that I was to be wedded ! — Wonderfully wooden- 
headed ! 

I'm a wiser man now, Charley, — certes, up to snuff — but 
sadder, — 

Oh, the fickle little Hindoo ! Facilis descensus window ! 

*H — o- 


*rt— e- 



Oh that hell again! what's thi>? 

mm | IDDER I 

■ ■ ■ 

\ llil I ->l 

— V\ 

oA — 0- 

-0 fti 

1 figbt. 

[" Fame must be conquered as a foe, not wooed as a mistress ; and 
strength — strength naked, inborn, inherent — -is the one power that can 
conquer her" — Unwritten preface to " Drama 'is Personce."^ 

O you want to beat? — 

Do you want to win in the war? — 
To strike your root like a bar thro' the face 
of the rock and live, 

A name amongst men for ever? 
Strip : strip ! that's the word — 

Xo bar, no spell like that; — 

*H — o- 


Puck on /' 

Stri|i ere you enter the Lists, — 
< hi" with the flimsy fei 
Aw. iv with the forge* 1 blade, 
I to the breast, bare. 
Then stretch your arms and set your teeth 

Look, the throat of the foe 

( Hutch it, and down w ith him ! 


y * v 

aA — o- 

-o — hy 

ftoi (£*act(» ! 

H ! whose, yon cottage by the 
Von cottage white and 
clean ; 
' 'an' st tell me, little village 
For 'tis a pleasant scene ? 

A pleasant and a lovely scene, 
Where innocence must dwell ; 
Where gentle-hearted peasants learn 
To love the sabbath bell. 

Net theirs the strife for vulgar wealth, 

For sordid gain unblest ; 
Their simple wants are all supplied 

From Nature's bounteous breast. 

S 9 

-: 1> 

Puck on Pegasus. 

In peaceful labour flows their 1 i ft* 

Amid such scenes as these ; 
And ah ! inethinks I spy a friend 

Beneath the < hestnut trees. 

A friend of man ! that faithful friend, 

Whose patience ne'er doth fail, — 
Who lets the little Clodhoppers 

Plaj mildly with his tail 

It is, // i ild the 1" 

died an 
Behold the beast who doth rejo 
In thistles more than grass I 

Thru tell me whose these rural su , 

■ hat toil reward . 

I he purling brook the whispVing trees 

The Kdward on the sward 


w — c- 

Not Exactly ! 

The cottage with the rustic thatch ? 

At length the urchin spoke — 
" That ere's where Fayther kills the pigs, 

••And yon's his Cat's-Meat Moke."' 


tf J 




Can of the Orocitrt) Jinfliiciuctti. 

ii - ihp'uyii > 

Dever here <uir feet shall 

■ »re ' 
Dever bore with byrtle boughs 

lit • - hall I t*\ 
i ►ever bore her bello 

Bake bell : \ « ith b 
Devei ^hai! wre 1 1« Ipt- r bore, 

\htd lie flotl • • 

iU o — 9 HJ 

Lay of the Deserted Tnfluenzosd. 

Dever shall we gaze at dight 
Upon the tedtder bood ! 

Ho, doe, doe ! 
Those berry tibes have flowd, 
Ad I shall dever see her bore, 
' By beautiful ! by owd ! 

Ho, doe, doe ! 

I shall dever see her bore, 
She will forget be id a bofeth, 

(Bost probably before.) — 
She will forget the byrtle boughs, 

Tlie flow'rs we plucked at dood, 
Our beetigs by the tedtder stars, 

Our gazigs od the bood. 
Ad I shall dever see agaid 

The Lily ad the Rose ; 
Tlie dabask cheek ! the sdowy brow I 

The perfect bouth ad dose ! 

$2 — o . o — H$ 



Puck on Pegasus, 

Ho, doe, d< 
Those berry t i 1 » t- -» have flowd - 
Ad I shall dever see her b 
B) beautiful ' ' by owd I ! 


eH — o- 

-o — k* 

&b BW !W 8° rtf j- 

(Euston Square 1840.; 

VI OW then, take your seats ! for Glasgow 
and the North ; 
Chester ! — Carlisle ! — Holyhead,— 

and the wild Frith of Forth : 
• Clap on the steam and sharp's 
the word, 
"You men in scarlet cloth: — 

" Are there an)- more pas . . sengers, 
" For the Night . . Mail . . to the North ! " 


Pitch OH . 

there any more passengers? 

Yes three — but they can't get iii. 

Too late, too Late! — How they bellow and ki 
They might as well try to soften a rock. 
As the heart of that fellow in green. 

Foi • e N ight Mail North ? what lb. 

(No use to struggle, you can't get thi 

My young ,\x\k\ lusty one — 
Whither awa) from t 

Foi the lake ami the stream and the heather blown. 
"Ami the double-barrelled gun!" 

I ' the Night Mail North, 1 - ■ 

\ ou, w ith the eager c\ es — 

\ "ii w ith the h.i. ■ and pale ? 

' From a ruined hearth and a Starving brood, 

•• \ i : me ami a felon's gs 


->— Rj 

The Night Mail North. 

For the Night Mail North, old man?— 

Old statue of despair — 
Why tug and strain at the iron gate ? 
" My daughter ! '.'" 

Ha ! too late, too late, 

[ She is gone, you may safely swear ; 

She has given you the slip, d' you hear ? 

She has left you alone in your wrath,— 

And she's off and away, with a glorious start, 

To the home of her choice, with the man of her heart, 

By the Night Mail North ! 


Wh — 

■ish, R- 

-ish, R- 

— ush, 
-ush . . 

"What's all that hullabaloo? 

" Keep fast the gates there — who is this 

" That insists on bursting thro' ? " 


-o — m 

iH— *- 

A desperate man whom none may withstand, 
For look, there is something clench'd in his hand— 
the bearer is to drop — 

i I waves it wildly to and fro, 
\nd hark ! how the crowd are shouting l>cl"\\ 
•• Back :'— 
And bark the opposing barriers 
■./ rept the Cannongate murderer^ Hoi 

•• In i'h Queen's name — 
Xnother //• ■ tue." 

\\ lush rush -m hish — rush . . . 

i Guard caught the flutt'ring sheet, 

. forward and northward ' fierce and fleet, 

Thro' tin ini>t and the dark and the driving sleet, 

\ if lil ind death were in it ; 

' Pis i splendid ra< I 

And a thousand t< n it : 


«H — o- 

The Night Mail North. 

Look at those flitting ghosts — 

The white-arm'd finger-posts — 

If we're moving the eighth of an inch, I say, 

We're going a mile a minute ! 

A mile a minute — for life or death — 

Away, away ! though it catches one's breath. 

The man shall not die in his wrath : 

The quivering carriages rock and reel — 

Hurrah ! for the rush of the grinding steel ! 

The thundering crank, and the mighty wheel ! — 

Are there any more pas . . sengers 
For the Nierht . . Mail . . to the North ? 

-0 — Hi 

-c — H^ 


»*"^ "^T 

#'bc Cost mn- 

EELER I hast thou found my treasure, 
Hast thou seen my vanish'd Fair 5 
Flora of the raven ringlets, 
Flora i»t tin.- shininc h.iir? 

Tell me < |inc k, and no palaver, 

i : 1 am a man <>t heat — 
I last thou seen her, X 100 ? 
1 1 ;1 tlum \ iew'd hei on thv be u ? 


— '.■ 

m — «•- 

I've Lost my 

Mark'd, I say, her fairy figure 

In the wilderness of Bow? 
Traced her Lilliputian foot-prints 
On the sands of Rotten Row? 

Out, alas ! thou answ'rest nothing, 
And my senseless anger dies ; 

Who would look for " speculation " 
In a boiled potato's eyes? 

Foggy Peeler ! purblind Peeler ! 

Wherefore walk'st thou in a dream ?- 
Ask a plethoric black beetle 

Why it walks into the cream ! 

Why the jolly gnats find pleasaunce 
In your drowsy orbs of sight,- — 

«H — o- 

\\ hy besotted daddy I 
I [urn into the nearest Hgl 

'Tis h . " //(»// mi ricordo? 

And he wanders in a 
.\s that other peel, her- 

in j our glass of 

All. ni) i I > 

P rl of .ill thy peerh i 
W here shall fan< y find one fit, O 

I p to till th\ \.i. .nit plai } 
Who < .in be the graceful ditto 

1 >itto to thai form and fa 

I Irn. e, then, sentimental twaddle ! 

\jo\e, tli\ f< ttei ? I will (K - 

*H — o- 

-o — Hi 

J've Lost my ■ 

Friendship is not worth a boddle, 
Lost, alas! I've lost — my Skye. 


*H— o- 


vTbc bin (£nss&b*. 

Preach'd by Puck I st Paint and Pommade.) 

IH -<- 

DO you wish th it your face should 

be fail ? 
That your cheek should be rosy and 
plump ? 
Morning noontide and nighl 
Take a <lip in the bright 
Wave thai Bows from the spoul of 
the pump, 
From i Pumi 
i dump 

-0 — Hi 

The VIII Crusade. 

Do we care for the lily 
Pick'd in Piccadilly, 
Or grown by the " Camphorate Lump." 

Do you sigh for ambrosial hair? 
For clustering ringlets to match ? 
Little goose ! 
To the deuce 
With pommades, learn the use 
Of the brush, and you'll soon have a thatch 
That shall catch 
The moustachio'd amasser 
Of Rowland's Macassar, 
At twenty-five shillings a batch. 

Is it ivOry teeth you desire? 
A set that nd dentist e'er trammels? 
To Rowland's O-dont-o 
Cry, " No, that we won't O, 
It softens the precious enamels !" 

-o — %i 


Puck on Pegasus. 

(Not Rachell's, but SchamyPs, 
Sent packing, confound it, 

To the Sultan Mahound, — it 
'S an nature/, perched upon Camels.*) 

Then toy not with powder and pastel 

Sweet nymphs, they are deadliest fi 
No Pivef persuade you — 

\.> k< >\\ i \\i> invade you — 

in peace let ea< h dimple rep< 

Where it gTOWS I 
When he shows 

\ ou in-- Kalydi »r Loth 
Reply, '■ We've a notion 

ns t.i understand what this means : the author will, 

• \|>!.iin it. Thus : Schamyl is or «.is the firal chief of <"ir- 

h had the felicity of supplying the Turkish Sultans with 

wives, who nstantinople'on i I they weren't it's 

\\ el! then, I been 

leir beautiful teeth enami 


m — o- 

The VIII Crusade. 

"It takes all the skin off one's nose!" 

(As he goes) 
Add, " There's nothing can beat yours 
" For blist'ring the features 
f ' But 'Atkinson's Milk of the Rose!" 


•o — ho 

o — H' 


*T he Crossing- ^luccpcr. 

■ ■/,•/. ) 

A little charity fpr the love of Heaven.'' 

yj^AKK! from 3t Martin's — one 

— two — three- . . . 
Paul's now — five 5|3( 

ran . . . 

, a deep tone strikes in — 

Seven eight — nine — ten 
eleven : 
The big bells bw< ep the heaven, 
Till the full choir, 
\ from one broad swoll'n brim, swing midnight 

Into the silent air, 

> — 


The Crossing-Sicceper. 

And set St. Stephen's quivering, 

And the Great Globe shuddering 

In Leicester Square — 

The great round Globe, spike-girdled, — 

A child was sleeping there. 

A boy, and small and ragged, 

His muddy broom lay near; 

How came he houseless, homeless, 

How came he to be here, 

With the dew glistening on his cheek ? 

Or could it be a tear? 

Why pillowed thus so hardly 

Lay the once silken head ? — 

And a small voice beside me, 

As to the thought unsaid, 

Replied, "He ain't got nothing 

To get himself a bed." 

iH — o- 

-0 Hi 


j a— ♦■ 

->— *> 

Puck on 

Slowly from that cold pavement 

We roused the little man. 

And I was loth to wake him 

- i low the hour glass ran ; 

But the iced dawnwind swept the square. 

And shook the night dews from its hair, 

And a grey frost began . . . 

knife straight to the marrow 

Like that sharp diwnuin ' 

The greasy mud grew blacker 
I he Bweltering gutter froze — 

And yet I paused, for in my mind 
\ dun misgiving i 

\ 1 1 ii. un an oi finish 

l lie whole s< ene < lung about ; 
\ tow li ol rnelodrame, maj 

That woke a tOU< h of douht : 

? : 

-o — Hi 

The Crossing-Sweeper. 

At any rate I waited 

For it seemed indicated 

That I should see it out. 

And lo ! the infant tattered, 
But penniless no more, 
Had curled his small self up again 
Under the railings in the rain — 
He almost seemed to snore. 
I crossed . . . two ragged imps lay coiled 
Where one had lain before ! 

Again I watched — ah, pity ! 

Where was the hand to have stayed? — 

In warm clothed, well housed Leicester Square, 

Five little bedless boys there were 

Along the pavement laid ! — 

They evidently fancied 

The " sleeping dodge " had paid. 

«H — o- 

-o — m 

■a — ~ 

Puck on Pegasus. 

And yet I hope the very 

Next time that midnight dim 
Unveils a ragged urchin 
Crouched on the pavement grim. 
That something like a sixpence 
Will pass from me to him. 

It's not because imposture 
May chance to reap our mite, 
That we should risk refusing 
Shelter from the pitiless night] 

\et U< ause the Poor law 
Works with a niggard stint, 

That you and 1 are called on 
To make our fares Bint 

Wt well I know that many 

A pious soul is rext, 

And thinks ' to give ' peidition 

-o — H* 

The Crossing- Sweeper. 

In this world and the next : 

"Refuse to him that asketh " 
Is how they read the text. 

But heed not thou, fair England, 

The pomps of other lands, 
Their palaces and temples 

Built up by hireling hands. 
Whilst in thy free soil rooted 
The free-will offering stands. 

The Hospital and Alms-house 

Where age may lay its head, 
And the sick man may be tended, 

And the starving man be fed, 
Are better shrines and prouder 

Than trophies blazed with gold ; 
And nobler worth than gorgeous piles, 

And pillared naves and glittering aisles, 
Where peoples' hearts are cold. 


-0 — H* 


Puck on Pegasus. 

And of the thousand fame-scrolls 
Our English scutcheons lift 

I hold the grandest, best of all, 
That writing, plain on many a wall. 

Prophetic against fear or fall. 
"Supported bv Frej Gn i 

m o- 

-o — MP 

*H — o- 

-o — H\ 

IN ME0f*¥0S, 

F you love to wear 

An unlimited extent of hair 

Push'd frantically back behind a pair 
Of ears, that all asinine comparison defy — 
And peripatate by star light 
To gaze upon some far light 
Till you've caught an aggravated catarrh right 
In the pupil of your frenzy rolling eye, — 

si — 

«H — c- 

Puck on Pegasus. 

Or it' you're given to the style 
( )f that mad fellow Tom Carlyle, 
And fancy all the while, you're taking "an earnest view" of things; 
Making Rousseau a her.), 
Mahomet any better than Nero, 
And Cromwell an angel in ev'rything except the wii 
( )r if you weep sonnets, 
( >\er Time, and on its 
Everlasting works of "art" and "genius" (cobweb wreath'd!) 
\iid fly off into rapture 
At some \ illanous old picture 
Not an atom like nature 
\ni my human creature, thai ever breath'd, — 
Some Ama/onian Vixen 
indescribable < omplexion 
And hideous all conception t<> surpass ; 
And actually prefer tins abhorrence 

<H — o- 


— H* 

*H — o- 

I/t Medicevos. 

To a lovely portrait by Sir Thomas Lawrence 
Why then, I think that you must be an Ass ! 

-O Hi 

■>— fe* 


(The uOlcll of <T rutli 

I w VS sunset (much ill used hour, 
\\ hi< h ditt'i ing Poets tell you 
[s ev'ry shade from green to red, 
And Southey swears it's yellow) 

And so i lay and smoked the weed— 

[mmaculate I lavannah ! — 
And watch'd .1 spider nobbling flies 

In .in .ntistu manner. 

aA — o- 

Thc Well of Truth. 

And mused in speculative vein 

On England, and her story ; 
Why Palmerston was dubb'd a Whig, 

And Derby was a Tory ; — 

Why Manchester detested war, 
And cottons took delight in ; 

Why Cobden's voice was all for peace, 
And Horsman's all for fighting ; — 

Why England sent our Bibles' store, 
To teach our pig-tail'd brother ; 

And gave him Gospel with one hand, 
And Opium with the other ; — 

And why the Church was always poor, 
And Lawyers lived in clover, 

And why my tailor made me pay 

His last . . account . . . twice .... over 



Puck on Pegasus. 

And why 

Perhaps it was the scent 

That hover'd round my bow'r? 
Perhaps it was the gnats that haunt 

That soul-subduing hour? 

< )r else those little busy bees — 
Which sting um- •><> severely — 

dreamy music round my head, 
Until I >r nearly 

But lo ! I floated on a pool, 
Beneath a monstrous runnel, 

Whose crowning disc shone faintly out, 
Like sun light thro' a tunnel ; 

And forms and faces quaint .im\ strange 

Swept by me e\ iy minute ; 
And ev*r) breast transparent lay, 

\ ! had a window i 

H O- 

-0 1 1 1 

-0 — k?; 

The Well of Truth. 

Then sudden through my mind it flashed- 
What mania could have got 'em — 

The place was truth's historic well, 
And I — was at the bottom. 

And first I marked a sombre man 

Of aspect wondrous saintly, 
Whose pious eyes looked shocked and good, 

If Sin but whispered faintly ; 

And every Sunday in the plate, 

His clinking gold was given 
With such an air — the righteous vowed 

His alms had conquered Heaven ! 

And such his godly wrath 'gainst all 
Who betted, swore, or liquored, — 

Old women said around his head 
An Angel halo flickered. 

-o — m 

J 'nek on Pegasus. 

But looking through his heart I saw 

A blank, dark, moral torpor, — 
And while he gave his princely alms 
He cursed the needy pauper. 

And all men grovelled at his feet 

With coax, and crawl, and wheedle 

But I thought of Dives' burning tor 
And the parabolic needle. 

And next 1 spied a priestly land 
In < I ope, and mitre, 

Who dil! ring slightly from the Church, 
Lent all their wits to spite her, — 

With some who thought church mu 

Devil . ; ■ ."us handl 

And some who lit Polemic Wat 

:! t .in . 


$-}- — h$ 

The Well of Truth. 

And one who held a certain place 

Most probable to get to, 
Unless he preached in a scarlet cloak 

And prayed in a falsetto — 

But one thing I could plainly read, 

Each pious breast displaying ; — 
The rev'rend men took more delight 

In quarrelling than praying ! 

They passed — and lo ! an Hebrew youth, 

To ebon locks confessing, 
The sturdy yeomanry of Bucks 
• In honeyed phrase addressing. 

And so enthusiastic waxed 

The sleek bucolic charmer; 
As if his body, soul, and brains, 

Had all been born a farmer. 


-c 1 


Puck OH 

And he fell "glad" and "proud," h< 
In meet his friends again — 

"III^ \;dued friends I " — and in his heart 
llr wished diem all in Spain. 

And so he gave their right good health- 

\nd off it went in toppers : 
And called them " Men and Patrii 

\n<l in his li - idhoppers " 

And then -with very blandest smiles 
11 self and boon carousers, 

lia\ to some model louts. 

And one <? fair of trousers ! t m 

And .i^ he tried " Take, tine old man. 

i i.e^t oi merit's brandii 

• / ',-./. ■• I urn ,' "i i \ the meeting 

ham and • '• gricultural V 

' -i 

-0 • 

*H— o — ■ o — m 

The Well of Truth. 

He thought, "Was ever such a Calf 
" On such thin understandings ! " 

Just then rolled by, so bluff and bold, 
A tar — from truck to kelson — 

And prophesied such vast exploits, 
Men cried — " Another Nelson ! " 

"You'll see," quoth he, "I'll shortly be 
In Heav'n or Cronstadt reckoned " — 

But never meant to chance the first, 
Or go too near the second, 

And then I lost him in the crowd, 
Nor could the question try on ; 

If I'd heard the voice of Balaam's ass 
Or the roar of Britain's lion ! 

But when I read what bumping things 
The hero had been saying, 

$-| — o o — fctft 


<H — c- 

Puck t'u Pegasus. 

I thought I knew what Gray must mean 
J'.y the <lin of battle braying. — 






m — ©- 

■0 Hi 

|)mls jof % Jffru &ri8. 

*H — o- 

00 D gracious Julia ! wretched girl, 

"What horror do I see ? 
What frantic fiend has done the 
That rends your charms from 

Those matchless charms which like 
the sun 
Lit up Belinda Place — ■ 
What fiend, I ask, in human mask 
Has dared to black your face? 


-o — R* 

-: — HI 

Puck on Pegasus. 

Your lips that once out-bloom'd the rose 

Arc both of ebon hue ; 
Your chin is brown — your checks arc green 

Your nose is prussian blue! 
This morn the very driven snOw 

Was not so stainless pure, — 
And now, alack ! you're more a black. 

Than any black a more. 

Some wretch has painted you! Oh, Jov«| 

That 1 could dutch his throat! — 
That I could givt his face B call, 

Who gave your fai e a coat i 

If there is justice in the lan«l 

But no — the Ian is bosh : 

Although it's true you're black and blue 
That remedy " won't wash." 

Revei . I \ ' \et hold, no i 

II be calm, sweet wife 

*H — 0- 

Perils oj the Fine Arts. 

Calm — icy calm Speak, woman, speak 

That I may have his life ! ! 
Who did the deed?— 

" Oh ! Charles, 'twas you ! 

" Nay, dearest, do not shrink — 
"This face and chin! — I've washed it in 

" Your Photographic Ink ! " 


-o — Hi 


ticjcctcL) ^DDrcsses." 

I K i ;i portly party . 

Sir Toby took his turtle 

hearty ; 

sir Toby lived t>> ilinc : 
■ 'din ///if his i"it . 

i hus would have backi his 
port : 
ii Alderman in si 
t >i • first water and wine. 

■» Ti l 

iiA — 0— 


Rejected Addresses. 

An Alderman of the first degree, 
But neither wife nor son had he : 

He had a* daughter fair, — 
And often said her father, " Cis, 
" You shall be dubbed ' my Lady,' Miss, 

"When I am dubbed Lord Mayor. 

"The day I don the gown and chain, 
" In Hymen's modern Fetter- Lane 

"You wed Sir Gobble Grist; 
" And whilst with pomp and pageant high 
"I scrape, and strut, and star it by 
" St. George's in the East, you'll try 

"St. George's in the West." 

Oh vision of paternal pride ! 

Oh blessed Groom to such a Bride ! 

Oh happy Lady Cis ! 
Yet sparks won't always strike the match, 



Puck i'ii Pegasus. 

And miss may chance to lose her 
Or he may catch — a miss I 

Such things dq happen, here and th 

When knights arc old, and nymphs are lair. 

And who can say they don't? 
When Worldly takes the gilded pill. 

And Dives stands and says "I will," 
\n 1 Beaut] 1 wi >n' i 1 

i Beaut) r thus by far — 

Young Goddess of the silver star, 

I )i\ inity c.iprit ion 

Who would not barter wealth and wig, 

And pomp and pride and ottum 
Foi Youth when "plums" weren't worth a tij. 
Venus smiled propitious? 

\ I thai beaua will lose their spring, 

And wayward bell ! " ' ring,' 


-o — Hi 

Rejected Addresses. 

Un struck by Cupid's dart ! 
Alas that — must the truth be told — 
Yet oft'ner has the archer sold 
The 'white and red,' to touch the 'gold,' 

And Diamonds trumped the Heart ! 

That luckless heart ! too soon misplaced !- 
Why is it that parental taste 
On sagest calculation based 

So rarely pleases Miss? 
Let those who can the riddle read ; 
For me, I've no idea indeed, 

No more, perhaps, had Cis. 

It might have been she found Sir G. 
Less tender than a swain should be, — 

Young — sprightly — witty — gay? — 
It might have been she thought his hat 
Or head too round or square or flat 

Or empty — who can say? 

-o — Hi 



Puck on . 

What Bard shall dare? Perhaps his nose? — 
A >hade too pink, or pale, or rose? — 
His cut of beard, wig, whisker, hose? — 

A wrinkle? — here— or there? — 
Perhaps the preux chevalier's chance. 
Hung on a word or on a glani 

< >r on a single hair. 

I know not I Put the Parson waited, 

The Bridegroom swore, the (IrooniMiien rated, 

Till two o'clock or near; — 
Then home again in rage and wrath. 

Whilst pretty ("is was rattling North 

With Jones the Volui ' 

■< — HI 

To face f> 134 


WAY there, to the east — 

" Towards the Surrey ridge,— 
"I see a puff of dunnish smoke 
"Over the Southwark Bridge:" 
A single curl of murky mist 

That scales the summer air : — 
And the watchman wound his list- 
less way 
Slow down the turret stair. 


■o — N* 

London ! that deck'st thyself with wave-won spoils, 
Sea-gathered wealth, spires, palaces, 
And temples high, 

-o — B* 



J 'nek on Pegasus. 

Well might thy goodly burgesses exclaim, 

'• behold— and die !* 
• ; behold these streets ; survey these monster maris, 

- I he lordly 'Changes of our merchant kings; 
"Consider this great Thames, with its broad breast 
'• Brave with white wings. 

" Wharves, stately with warehouses, 
"Docks, with a world's treasu id bail, 

" What hand shall tow h \e ? 
•• What rash foe assail ? " . . . 

•• Fire ! to tin- eastw — 

A hurrying tramp of feet 
A Bickly haze that wraps the town 
Like a leaden winding-sheet: 

A smothering smoke is in the air 
\ crackling sound— a cry! — 

And yonder, up over the furnace pot, 

• •■ I die." / 


-o -B • 

fir -# 

" Fire ! " 

That smokes like the smoke of the cities of Lot, 

There's something fierce and hissing and hot 

That licks the very sky. 

Fire ! fire ! ghastly fire ! 

It broadens overhead ; 

Red gleam the roofs in lurid light 

The heav'ns are glowing-red. 

From east to west — from west to east ! 

Red runs the turbid Thames — 

" Fire ! fire ! the engines ! fire ! 

" Or half the town's in flames — 
" Fire " 

A raging, quivering gulf . . 
A wild stream, blazing by . . . 
Red ruin . . . fearful flaming leaps . . . 
White faces to the sky .... 



/'ink on Pegasus. 

"The engines, Ho — back for your lives!' 
The swarthy helmets gleam : 
Flash fast, broad wheel, 
111, wood and steel, 
Whilst the shout rings up. and the wild bells peal, 
And the living hoofs strike flame. 
Stand from the causeway, hor-e and man, 
k while there's time for aid, — 
Back, gilded coach — back, lordly steed 

A thousand hearts hang on their speed, 
And life and death and daring deed 

Room lor the 1 ire Brigade ' 

uA — o- 

-o — m 

Mm, <£bcr Mm. 

US ! ever wus ! By freak of Puck's 
My most exciting hopes are dashed ; 

I never wore my spotless ducks 

But madly — wildly ! — they were 

I never roved by Cynthia's beam, 
To gaze upon the starry sky ; 

But some old stiff-backed beetle came, 
And charged into my pensive eye : 

And oh ! I never did the swell 

In Regent-street, amongst the beaus, 
But smuts the most prodigious fell, 

i 39 


Puck on i 
And always settled • >n «\ V «i 

->— H> 

m — o- 

CTburge of fbc Jitgbt (|risb) grigabe. 

[Not by A—f—d T—y—n.) 

OUTHWARD Ho— Here we go !- 

O'er the wave onward, 

Out from the Harbour of Cork 

Sailed the Six Hundred ! 
Sailed like Crusaders thence, 

Burning for Peter's pence, — 

Burning for fight and fame — 

Burning to show their zeal — 

Into the gates of Rome, 

Into the jaws of Hell, 

(It's all the same) 

Marched the Six Hundred ! 


-0 — hfJ 


Puck on 

•■ Barracks, and tables laid ! 
id i"i the Pope's Brigade ' ' 

But <\ i\ Cell afraid, 
( razed on the grub dismay'd 

Twigged he had blundered; — 

" Who i.. m eat rancid grease ? 

( 'all / Ms .1 room a piece ? "* — 

•• Silence unseemly din, 
Prick them with bayonets in.' 
I >ed Six I lundred ' 

w aves ev'rj batde blade. — 

•• Forward ! the Pope's Brigade ! " 

w .1 1 there a man obeyed ? 
\(> where they stood they stayed 

\ room ' each man, and a table furnished from the fal <>i the 
I. in. 1, the inducer i n held out 

n the " Pope' own." 



iiA — o- 

C fiargc of the Light (Irish) Brigade. 

Though Lamoriciere pray'd, 
Threatened, and thundered — 

" Charge ! " Down their sabres then 
Clashed, as they turn'd — and ran — 
Sab'ring the empty air, 
Each of one taking care, — 
Here, there, and ev'rywhere 
Scattered and sundered. 

Sick of the powder smell, 

Down on their knees they fell : 
Howling for hearth and home- — 
Cursing the Pope of Rome — 

Whilst afar shot and shell 
Volleyed and thunder'd ; 
Captured, alive and well, 
Kv'ry Hibernian swell, 
Came back the tale to tell ; 

Back from the states of Rome — 

'4. : 


Back from the Hell 

Safe and sound ev*ry man 
Jack of Six I [undred ' 

When shall their story fade? 

( )li the mistake they made ! 

\ il id) v. ondered, 
Pity the fools they made — 

Pitj the Pope's Brigade — 

M >BBLED Sis Hundred ! 


' :i 

oA — o- 

€00 bab, U0M hnofo. 

(.\<\v )'tV/r'.f A'-'c", '58. 

tU — 0- 

T was the huge metropolis 

With fog was like to choke ; 
It was the gentle cabby- 
His ancient knees that 
broke ; — 

And, oh, it was the cabby-man 
That swore with all his might, 

And did request he might be blowed 
Particularly tight, 


< 1 

Puck on Pegasus. 

It any swell should make him stir 
Another step that night ! 

Then up dm\ spake that bold cabman, 

I Dti) his inside Fare, — 
■• I jay, you Sir, — come out ol~ that ! — 

•• I say, you Sir, in there — 

•'Six precious aggrawatin miles 

" I \e dru\ to this here gate, 

•• And that poor injered hanimal 

•• [s m .1 hinting state ; 
"There aim .1 thimhlelull of light, 

"The fog's as black as pitch, — 

•• I'm flummoxed 'tween them posteses 

"And that most 'otefui ditch. 

" SO handle Oft! ' niv '0S8 ' ■ 1" 
" I'm si( k of this Vie job ! — 

1 1 


*H — o- 

m — o 

Too bad, you kno7i>. 

" I say, you Sir in there, — d'you HEAR 1 
i # * . # 

"He's bolted— strike me bob /" 


«H — o- 


II) you never hear a rustling, 

In the corner of your room ; 
When the faint fantastic fire light 

rved but to reveal the gloom ? 
I nd . : feel the claratn) 

rting from eat h pore, 

of knocking 
t >n youi « hamber door? 

pou n< \ ei i. mi j something 
I lorrid, underneath the l>ol ? 

ghastl) skeletonian, 
In the garret overhead ? 



-o — kj 


Or a sudden lifedike movement, 
Of the ' Vandyke,' grim and tall ? 
Or that ruddy- 
Mark, a bloody 
Stain upon the wall ? 

Did you never see a fearful 

Figure, by the rushlight low, 
Crouching, creeping, crawling nearer- 
Putting out its fingers — SO ? 
Whilst its lurid eyes glared on you 
From the darkness where it sat — 
And you could not, 
Or you would not, 
See it was the cat ? 


«H — c>- 

:■ — HI 

Oubtcrloo Blare. 


\\ [JW— Wuw— Wuw— Wuw— Wuw -Wuw 
W — Waterloo Place? yea you 

F — take the first tut tut— tut turning 
thai fai es you, 
l,ul — left, — and then kuk — kuk — kuk, — kuk — 
kuk— kuk- keep up l'all Mall 'till you 

See the Wuw — Wuw — Wuw — Wuw 

Zounds, sir, you'll get there before I 

- : 


<Tbc gtassacrc of (&\m\ts. 

\H — c- 

H ROUGH deep Glenho the owlet 

That valley weird and lone ; 
The chieftain's aged widow sits 

Beside the bare hearth-stone. 

Beside the bare and blighted 
Whose fires, now quenched and 
Had seen five gallant sons go forth. 
And never one come back. 


-0 — H* 

'-. — fr- 

-0— B( 

/'//(/v- «-// Pegasus, 
I is silent all ' but hark — a 

\nd ghastly clamours wake 
The midnight glen. Then rose proudly 
That ancient dame, and spake — 

•• What mingled sounds of woe and wail 

M Up Mortham's valley spread? 
"What shrieks upon the gusty gale 

me pealmg overhead ? 

•' I hear the pibroch's piercing swell, 

I he banshee's si ream I Ik 
'• And hark ! again that stilled yell - 
"The bodergias is near! ' 

" Thi is with bloody brow 

• \nd tresses dripping red — 
■• I see him at the window snw 
'• He shakes his gory head ! 



<H — o- 

-0 HJ 

The Massacre of Glenho. 

Then, daughter, to thy mother's arms, 
" Thus, thus, in close embrace, 

The messenger of death we'll meet — 
" The slayer of our race. 

Then do not weep, my daughter ! " — 
" Oh mother, 'tis not that — 
But Donald Roy the carrotty boy 
" Has killed our Old Tom Cat ! " 

<3 <SJre W • ^ , 


(O&c to iiampstcaD. 

Mo l< >ngei ■ green, 1 alas ! 
Where on< e a wet k, on Sunday, 

•"' The ( '*>< kney s go to 

Donke) boys still flourish, 
LJnawed by Man 

I U 


m — o- 


Ode to Hampstead. 

The lash that drives a squadron 
Promiscuously whackt ; — 

Upon whose hills the dust-wreath 
Comes down like the simoom, 

Beneath whose slopes the 'winkle 
Has a perennial bloom, — 

And whose once stainless waters 

Present the sort of look 
The sea did when the savages 

Plunged in at Captain Cook ; — 

I love thee yet ! — Tho' tarnish'd 

Is ev'ry blade and leaf, 
Tho' Highgate Fields are bitterness, 

And Belsize Park is grief, — 

Tho' brick-kilns are unlovely, 
And railways banish rest, 

iU 0- 


• : 

/'//■ . / uus. 

And Omnibi arc hateful 
An- 1 I [ansom < labs unbl 

Whilst donkeys take the place of cows, 

And geese are abdicat 
Whilst boys usurp the haunts of fish 
i s| the skating ; — 

1 l<>\<.- thee still : — Thy bench) 
(When I '< ills) 

Thy turf, swi line upon — 

(When unengross'd by Bnails.) 

And never ma) thy blooming heath 

Bj W II ON : d . 

Still on thy lawn let fairy feet 

Disport them unopposed ; 
l love th< . I I i love thee still ' 

must I fain i 


m — o- 

<H — o- 

Ode to Hampstead. 

That ev'ry time I gaze above 
Thy spreading chimney-pots, my love 
Grows ' beautifully less ! ' 





-0 ^ 

0m iTniucllcr 

i thou vrouldst stand on Etna's 

burning brow, 
With smoke above, and roaring 
Same below ; 
And gase adown that molten 

^ulf reveal'd, 
Till thy soul shuddered and thy 

It thou wouldst beard Niagara in his pride, 
Or Btem tin.- billows of Propontit tide; 

.ill alone Bome diazy Alpine katU, 

\ ih I shriek " Excelsior I w amidst the snow. — 

Wouldsl tempt all deaths, all dangers that may b 
Perils by land, and penis on ti i 

This \.i^t round world, 1 say. it" thou WOUldsl view it, 



/then why "the dickens 
dont you co and do it ? i 

To /ace p. 158. 

tH — 0- 

Cirinese Iht^les. 


In the name of Fo, 
Thus saith the shadow of Nobody. 

i^j ROM many a dark delicious ripple 
P'The Moonbeams drank ethereal tipple; 
"; Whilst over Eastern grove and dell 

The perfumed breeze of evening fell, 
And the young Bulbul warbling gave 
Her music to the answering wave. 

But not alone the Bulbul's note 
Bade Echo strike her silver lute, 
Nor fell the music of her dream 
Alone on waving wood and stream ; 

-o — Hi 


u — c - 

Puck on Pegasus. 

For thro' the twilight blossoms stra\ '<!. 

Fnamour'd youth, and faery maid ; 
And mingled with her warblings lone 
A voice of sweet an 1 playful tone. 

"Nay, tell me not of love that lights 
••The diamond's midnight mine; 

••The cold sea-gleaming of the pearl 
•■ Is only half divine. 
• thought have I for gold or gem, 

•• No lust of high emprize ; 
giant Tartars t«> be slain, 

" In homage to my eyes." 

••(>ii, take my lite!" her lover cried, 

• Nor break this dream of 1>I: 
"Take house, or head, or lands, or fame 
I ke I '-'i\ thing but this, 

i gaze upon those silken braids 


- B • 

-o — H*. 


The Wedding Gift. 

" Unenvious be my part ; 
" I could not steal one golden tress, 

" To bind it round my heart. 
"Tho' all the pearls of Ind were strung 

" Upon a single hair, 
" I would not cut the shiner off, — 

" I wouldn't, Za', I swear." 

The lady laughed a careless laugh, — ■ 
" While downward flows the river, 

" The lover who bids for Zadie's heart 

" And hand must make up his mind to part 

"With the Gift, or part for ever!" 

" Excruciating girl ! why pierce 
" A heart that beats for thee ? 

" How can you want a Lock for which 
"You still must want a Key? 



— Hi 

/'//<7' OH ■ 

Just think, it I should wear a 
■11.'. wo ild you like me, Zadie ? 
I'm sure you'll give it up. my pig, 
•• Do there's ;i gentle lady '. " 

'he Maiden laugh'd a silv'r) laugh j — 
"The white stars set and shiver; 

The lover who bids t'>r Zadie's heart 
"And hand must make up hi-, mind to part 

With i hi I i or part for <-■> 

-o — Hi 

iU — o- 


HE stars were out on the lake, 

The silk sail stirr'd the skiff; 

And faint on the billow, and 

fresh on the breeze, 
The summer came up thro' the 
cinnamon trees 
With an odoriferous sniff. 
There was song in the 
scented air, 
And a light in the listening leaves, — 
The light of the myriad myrtle fly, 
When young Fo-Fum and little Fe-Fi 
Came forth to gaze upon the sky — &c ! 




Puck on Pegasus. 

Oh : little Fe-Fi was fair, 

With the wreath in her raven hair ! 
With white of lily and crimson of I 

From her almond eyes, anil celestial D 

I., the tips of lur Imperceptible toes >.vc. 

I i ■ I'um stood tall, I \\ is, 
I May his shadow never he les 

A highly irresistible male. 

The ladies turn'd pale 
v the length of his nail 
And the twirl of his unappro.u liable tail &C 

\ow listen. Moon mine, my star : 
\l\ Life ' my little F< I 

over the bloSSOm and under the DOUgh 
There's a soft little word that is whispering now 
Which I think you call uurss it' \,.u trj 
In the bosom of faithful Finn. 

There's an anti < elebic hum, — 

i I 


A little wee word Fe-Fi can spell, 

Concluding with ' E,' and beginning with ' L,' &c." 

" Oh ! dear, now what can it be ? 
That little wee word Fo-Fum? 
That funny wee word that sounds so absurd 
With an [e' and an '/' and a '■hum 1 .'' 
A something that ends with an E? — 
It must be my cousin, So-Sle? 
Or pretty Zuzzoo 

Who admired your queue ? 

I shall never guess what it can be 
I can see 
That is spelt with an L and an E!" 

" Then listen, Moon-mine, my Life, 

My innocent little Fe-Fi ; 
It isn't So-Sle, tho' she ends with an E, 
And pretty Zuzzoo 
Who approved of my queue, 
Has no L in her name that I see ; — 


-o — ho 

Puck on 

■■ In the bosom of faithful Fum, 

It's .1 monosyllabic hum ; 
A sweet little word tor sweet lips to tr>. 
That's half-and-half moonlight, and earth-light and sky. 
[f little I 
Will open her mouth with the least little sigh, 
Sin- must speak it unless she was dumb!" 

■• Indeed ' then perhaps she is dumb : 

I vow I detest you Fo Fum I 

Win don't you • ■ how ,/,1/r you, 1 mean, >ir. ah me 

I shall never .um-ss what it < an be 

l < an Bee 
That is spelt with a I. and an l 

I never shall umss, u | ,i 

Fo-Fum, . I'm goii ' — 

Oh dear, hosv my heart is beginning to heal . . . 

Win there's Billy Fo-Fum on his knees .it im tret.'' \r 

ii± — c ■ © — Hi 


Deponent knoweth not, 

History showeth not, 
It the lady read the riddle ; 

And whether she found 

It hard to expound — 
As the story ends in the middle. 

Was gallant Fo-Fum 

Constrain'd to succumb 
To the " thrall of delicious fetters " ? — 

Or pretty Fe-Fi 

Induced to supply 
The text of the missing letters ? 

Oh, no one can tell ! 

But this extract looks well, 
Faute de mieux (that's "for want of a batterer ")- 

" Received : by Hang-Hi, 

'• From Fo Fum, for Fe-Fi, 
"A thousand dollars" &c ! 





1 « 


What tJie Prince of I Dreamt. 

It had a Dragon ; with a tail ; 

A tail both long and slim, 
And ev'ry day he wagged at it — 

How good it was of him ! 

And so to him the tailest 
Of all three-tailed Bashaws, 

Suggested that for reasons 
The waggling should pause : 

And held his tail — which, parting, 
Reversed that Bashaw, which 

Reversed that Dragon, who reversed 
Himself into a ditch. 

•"• * « •"■ 

It had a monkey — in a trap — 

Suspended by the tail : 
Oh ! but that monkey look'd distress'd, 

And his countenance was pale. 

And he had danced and dangled there ; 
Till he grew very mad : 


<H — o- 


Puck <>u Pigasus. 

For his tail it was a handsome tail 
And the trap had pinch'd it — had. 

The trapper sat below, and grinn'd ; 

Ili> \i<tiin's wrath wax'd hot: — 
He bit his tail in two— and fell — 

And Icill'd him on the spot : — 

It had a pig a stately pig ; 

With curly tail and quaint : 
And the Great Mogul had hold of that 

Till he was like to faint 

So twenty thousand Chinamen ; 

With three tails ea< h at least : 

< '.une up to help the ( Mogul 
And took him round the waist 

And so, the slipp'd through his hands 
so it < .une to pass 


What the Prince of I Dreamt. 

That twenty thousand Chinamen 
Sat down upon the grass : — 

It had a Khan — a Tartar Khan — 

With tail superb, I wis : 
And that fell graceful down a back 

Which was considered his. 

And so, all sorts of boys that were 

Accursed, swung by it : 
Till he grew savage in his mind 

And vex'd, above a bit — 

And so, he swept his tail, as one 
Awak'ning from a dream : 

And those abominable ones 
Flew off into the stream — 

Puck on Pegasus. 

And so, they bobbled up and down, 

Like man) apples there . 
Till they subsided — and became 

Amongst the things that were : — 

And so it had a moral too ; 
Thai would be bad to los 

•• Whoever takes a tail in hand 
Should mind his |>'s and queues 

I dreamt it ! — such a funny thing I 
And now it's taken \\ ing ; 

I s'pOSe no man Inline <>i Mine 

1 Irearat such a tunny thing } 

I \ tail piece" was 1 by M I nftei .1 drawing bj the 

tame nrtisl in the ; I . I >\ | 


m — o- 

iU — fr- 

ill Case in iCunacn. 

AS any one read the great lunacy- 
The case that's lock'd, and labell'd, 

and laced 
With a tissue of lies, and a docket 
of ' waste,' 
And a golden key, the reverse 

of chased, 
(Tho' hunted thro' the Hilary) — 
Has any one read how the Law can hound, 

And badger, and bully a man, 'till it's bound 
A mortgage on ev'ry acre of ground, 

o Hi 

-o — R* 



-o — M 


Puck on Pegasus. 

And robb'd him of sixty thousand pound — 
Without being put in the pillory? 

Has any one read -does any one know— 

If he marries a wife who's not quite commt U faut, 
And a handsome (.-state should inherit, — 

What a SUIT OF CHAW ikv can effect, 

[*0 strip him, even of self respei t, 

Hold him up to Bcorn contempt and oeg 

And ruin him. body and spirit? 

II any one read mark'd -weigh'd — the worth 

( U~ .\ imon name and a kindred birth, 

A lirother's uncle's love upon earth, 
I o the love that is filthy hi' r. 
How day atter day, without being hurt, 
A man r.m drag his own flesh thro' the dirt 
I ■ i thousand pounds at his brok 

ev'ry one's read— we all of us know 

What man's 'first friend' could heroine his worst l<>e, 

- Hi 

1 I 

-o — m 

A Case in Lunacy. 

Bring him up in the way he ought not to go, — 
Then lie, to make him a beggar ; — 
Turn him loose upon Town without guardian or friend, 
Lay traps in his paths lest they happen'd to mend,- 
Set spies to note ev'ry shilling he'd spend — 
Ev'ry pitiful pound he might borrow or lend, — 
And dip his lingers in slime without end — 
We can guess who cuts such a figure ! 



^ $mttah from Sean's ttmrb, 

Mind your P's and Q's 

[These are the verses which the Honourable Scrawls wrote to his 
Leonora, when he had perfected I"- running hand in "Six lessons from 
ilic Flying Pen."] 


sqeaktomemyl .eonora ' 

Sqeaka< rosstheStormydeep, 
1 hroughathousandleaguesofwater 
Thatsoftvoiceshallcometome — 
- -* Sqeakofl lOveoh 1 1© mora! 


-0 hii 

A squeak from Dean's Yard. 





Orbesquinhimselfinstead : 

(Third, and remaining hundred and twenty-five verses, ille- 

-<s — m 


il r v c v o I o r I 

' HE shades of night had fallen (<// fast 
When from the Eagle Tavern pass'd 
A youth, who bore, in manual \ 
A pot of something monstrous nil 

XX— oh lor' 

ll brow was bad : — his young eye scann'd 
The frothing flaggon in his hand, 
Ami like i , streamlet sprung 

Tli.- ac< >nt s to thirsty tongue, 

\\ -oh lor' 

In happy homes he saw them grub 

( >n stout, an.' from a tub, 

jhts gleam'd with 
And iron) his lips escaped i shout, 

• \\ • oh ' 


-o — ••«• 

IH — *■ 

-0 Mi- 

Exexolor ! 

•'Young man,'' the Sage observ'd, "just stay, 
" And let me dip my beak, I say, 
"The pewter is deep, and I am dry!" — 
" Perceiv'st thou verdure in my eye ? 

XX? oh lor! 

" Oh stop," the maiden cried, " and lend 
" Thy beery burden here, my friend — " 
Th' unbidden tear regretful rose, 
But still his thumb tip sought his nose; 

"XX?— oh lor! ! 

" Beware the gutter at thy feet ! 
" Beware the Dragons of the street ! 
" Beware lest thirsty Bob you meet ! " 
This was the ultimate remark ; 
A voice replied far thro' the dark, 

"XX! oh lor 



«H — o- 

Puck on . 

That night, by watchmen on their round. 

The person in a ditch was found ; 

Siill grasping ftl his manual vice 

That pot once fill'd with something nice. — 

\ \ (ill I T 



K 0- 


*T he (Tlncuo of Cife. 

\ I K \i.\l I N I . 

i ///<;• / i // ,/.) 

1 1 E I depths of myster) 

In the oceans ■>! Hate and the 

rivers <>i Pride, 
That mingle in Tribulation's 

I VJj&L/, tide, 

I • quench the Bpark 
ti chords of Love and "bands" ol Hope, 

-0 H\ 


*H — o- 

T/ic Thread of Life. 

Were " made strong " (without the use of rope) 
In the Thread — Individuality. 

Life ! what a web of follies and fears, 
Pleasures and griefs, sighs, smiles and tears, 
Are twined in the woof that Mortality's shears 

Must be everlastingly thinning, — 
What holes for Physician Death to darn, 
Are eternally spun in the wonderful yarn 

That the Fates are eternally spinning ! 

Life ! what marvellous throbs and throes 

The alchemy of Existence knows ; 

What "weals within wheels" (and woes without woahs /) 

Give sophistry a handle ; 
Though Hare himself could be dipp'd in the well 
Where Truth's proverbial waters dwell, 
Tt would throw no more light on the vital spell 
Than a dip in the Polytechnic bell, 

Or the dip — a ha'penny candle. 


-0 — R* 

Puck on i 

Alas I tor the metaphysical host . 

The wonderful wit and wisdom they bo 

When the time arrives they must give up the ghost, 

►me quite phantasmagorical, — 
And it's found at the last that they know as much 
Of the secret of LIFE — as they do of Dutch — 
Or, if a lame verse may borrow a crutch, 
As was known by the Delphic Oracle. 

Into being we come, in ones and t 

To be kiss'd, to be cufFd, to obey, to abuse. 

Each destined to stand in another's sho 

I whose heels we may < oinc the nighest j 

I turns at once into Luxury's bed, 

Whilst that in .1 gutter la_\s his head, 
And this — in a house with a WOOden lid 
And a roof that's none of the highest 

.11 like the drops <>f April show'rs, 
led in mud 01 < ladled in R0W*rS, 





> w 


The Thread of Life. 

Now idly to wile the rosy hours, 

And now for bread to importune ; 
Petted, and feted, and fed upon pap 
One prattler comes in for a fortune, slap— 
And one, a ' more kicks than ha'pence ' chap, 
For a slap — without the fortune ! 

Oh, who hasn't heard of the infant squall ? 

Sharper, shriller, and longer than all 

The Nor'-wester squalls, that may chance to befall 
At Cape Horn, as nauticals tell us ; 

And who, — oh who ? — hasn't heard before 

The dulcet tones of the infant roar ? 

Ear-piercing in at the drawing-room door — 

Down-bellowing, right through the nursery floor- 
Like a hundred power bellows? 

Alas ! that the very rosiest wreath 

Should ever be twined with a thorn beneath ! 

<H— < o— Bfe 

l8^ B B 

Puck on Pegasus. 

Forth peeping, from purple and damask sheath, 

In a manner quite ami floral ; 
And startling, a-; when to that Indian root 
The traveller stretches his hand for the fruit. 
And a crested head comes glittering out 

With a tongue that is somewhal forked no doubt, 
And a tail that has quite a moral ! 

And who'd have believed that diminutive thing 

Just form'd as you'd say, to kiss and to cling, 

Would ever have opened, except to 
Those lips, that look so < horal ? 

Behold the soft little struggling ball I 
With rosy mouth ever ready to squall, 
Kicking and crowing and grasping "small," 
At its India rubber dangli 

Whilst tiny lists in the pillow lurk 
That are destined perhaps for fighting the Turk. 
And i o! mangling work, 

perhaps, for working a mai 


iH — o- 

The Thread of Life. 

'Tis passing strange, that all over the earth 

Men talk of the " stars " that " rule " at their birth, 

For little such dazzling sponsors are worth, 

Whate'er Cagliostro may say ; 
Though all the Bears in the heav'ns combined — 
Mars, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter shined, 
In our glitt'ring horoscope, we shall find 
Most men who are born of woman kind 

Are born in the milky-way. 

In the milky-way! ev'ry mother's son ; 

From the son of a lord, to the " son of a gun," 

Of colours, red, brown and yellow and dun, 

An astonishing constellation ; 
From the black Papouse of the Cape de Verd, 
The cream of Tartar, and scum of Kurd, 
To the son and heir of Napoleon the Third, 

Who sucks — to the joy of a Nation ! 
And that puny atom may happen to claim 


<, j 

Puck on Pegasus. 

The very first round on the Ladder of Fame, 
At the genera] conflagration. 

The squeaky voice mas be heard ere long 
In the shout of the battle, deep and strong, 
Like the brazen clash of a mighty gong 
That has broken loose from tether ; 
Whilst many a hardy DOSOBQ <|iiails. 
And many a swarthy visage pales 
\; the griffin dutch Of those tender nails 

■ hey i ome t< i the s t ran h together. 

But well says a poet of rising tame. 

That to him at an "infantile frailty's" a shame; 

baby-days have come round the same 

I us all, and we can't hut confess 'em; 
When the brawny hands, that can rend an oak. 

Wenl both into Mammy's mouth for a joke — 


-o — k* 

The Thread of Life. 

And the feet that stand like the solid rock, 
Were "tootsies pootsies, bless 'em!" 

When to howl was the only accomplishment rife 
In our "tight little bundle" of wailing and strife, 
And pap was the summum bonurn of life, 

To a mouth in perpetual pucker ; 
When Ma was a semi-intelligent lump, 
Possessed by a mania for making us " plum])," 
And Nus was an inexhaustible pump 

With an everlasting " sucker." 

Yet, laugh if we will at those baby-days, 
There was more of bliss in its careless plays, 
Than in after time from the careful ways 
Or the hollow world, with its empty praise, 
Its honeyed speeches, and hackneyed phrase, 

And its pleasures, for ever fleeting ; 
And more of sense in its bald little pate, 
On its own little matters of Church and State, 

<H — o- 

Puck on Pegasus. 

Thai) in many a House of Commons" debate, 

< >r the "sense" of a Manchester meeting! 

And laugh as we may, it would make us start, 
Could we read the depths of its mother's I 
( >r imagine one twenty thousandth part 

< >i" the feelings that stir within it ; 
What a freight that little existence bears 

< >f pallid smiles and tremulous te. 

< U JOJ breathed into mortal 

Griefs that the callous world never hears, 

Suff'ring that only the more endears. 

And love, that would reach into endless year-. 

Snuffed <>ut, it may be, in a minute ' 

Would you look on a mother in all her pride? 

Her radiant, dazzling, glorious prid 

Tin t— leaden eyed — 

\; id thrust the mouldering panel aside 
The door that has nothing to lock il 

.^ .- 

The Thread of Life. 

And the walls are tattered, and damp, and drear, 
And the light has a quivering gleam, like fear, 
For the hand of Sickness is heavy here, 

And the lamp burns low in the socket. 

Mid rags, and want, and misery, piled, 
A woman is watching her stricken child, 
With a love so tender, a look so mild, 
That the patient little suff'rer has smiled— 

A smile that is strangely fair ! — 
And lo ! in that chamber, poverty-dyed, 
A mother in all her dazzling pride — 

A glorious mother is there ! 

And the child is squalid, and puny, and thin, — 
But hush — hush your voice as you enter in ! 
Nor dare to despise, lest a deadly sin 

On your soul rest unforgiven ; — 
Perchance, oh scornful and worldly-wise, 
A Shakespeare dreams in those thoughtful eyes - 


tfj-o 0-flj 

yv/<x- <'// Pegasus. 

A Newton looks out at the starry 
< )r a 'prison'd angel in calm surjirise 
l ooks back to its Heaves '■ 

q|fLo *-|p 


*H — o- 

The Thread of Life. 


Life, life ! a year or two more, 

And the Bark has launch'd from the quiet shore 

To the restless waves that bubble and roar, 

Where the billow never slumbers, — 
And the storms of Fate have caught in the sail, 
And the sharks are gathering thick on his trail, 
Like a New Edition of Jonah's whale — 

That is coming out in Numbers ! 

-O — Hi 


-o — ►-:- 

fuck on Pegasus. 

L'empus, time, -fugit, Hies ! 
And the ship returns with a gallant prize, 
A fairy Craft of diminutive size, 

( >r perhaps with a huge Three-decker; 
He lias sailed from the matrimonial shore. 
With a "breeze" at starting, and "squalls" in store, 

And he's married a blue, or he's wed. to a bore, 

( n perhaps to my I ady Pecker ! 

1 ; 

— ••• 

" ENORMOUS BUREESotfE — unapproachable and pre-eminent. — We venture 
to tliink thai this very queer volume will be a favourite. It deserves to be so, and we should 
suggest that, to a dull person desirous to get credit with the young holiday people, it would be 
good policy to invest in the book, and dole it out in instalments.'''' — Saturday Review, 
Nov. 30, 1S67. 


On toned paper, cloth, Js. 6d.; cloth gilt, with coloured cover by G. DORE, S.f. 6d. 

P tl M 1 A M A ♦ 

r u iv. 1 ft. Vt & ♦ 






"°!<es, Seus 







of Hanover, ("mm the Squibs, the '■'. I unpoons, and Pictorial Caricatures 

.,f tl « RIGHT, 1 - \ 

Uniform with " History of Signboards/' .mil a companion volume to it. A most amusing and instructive 


."/■: i V.l I. /•'. WOURl TES. 
[mm ng 4U). handsome Table-book, - 

HISTORICAL CARTOONS; or, Pictures of the Worlds History from the Fit 
the Nineteenth Century Bj GUSTAVE DORE 

A new book of daring and inimitable designs by this Artist, which will excite considerable attention, and, 
doubtless, command a large sale. 

IMM V FOR EVERYBODY. "Al ok to enjoy and laugh over." 

SEYMOUR'S SKETCHES; the Book of Cockney Sport-, Whin.-, and Oddities. 
Complete set of tl irous Illustrations at an exceedingly moderate price: highly amusing; 

bj Rl IB1 K I SEYM* >l R, the well-known illustrator of the " Pickwick Papers. 41". a hand- 
volume, half ■ 


, iper, 3-r. (*/. 


1 in Artemus Ward s ilmll books will have m implain of this 

humorous pi trliament, and becomes one of the most 

Members, rivalling Bemal < tab »rne in his wit and Roebui k in his s.itire, ought toiran amusi - 

Now ready, ys. M. 

I that the " K""il things in the b umeroua 

ng the variou merly 

rhe from A I w i t \i 

i i oth. 


\ I Book, on toned p ipei 

THE COLLECTOR. I \ lures, Inns, I 1 


\ ■ !i .m ■, • ith exquisitely engraved \ 

lion volume I I 1 
.u I to the i" John Mill B 

BOi >K by i I VE DOR) 

tlO lllllsll 11 

LEGENDS OF SAVAGE LIFE. B) James Greenvs >, the famous Auth 

\ Night in a V .' , ,11 Illustrations drawn and coloured l\ ERNES'I 

1 .r I 1 1 , 1 

1 surprising » h 

/ \ 
fully printed, 1 1 1 . ■ i 


'v 1 •' \' w ind Fantastic 

u 1 W I I •- >ll 

1 j .oiist II, nmed 

1 1 (don I' »HN CAMDEN HOTTEN, 74 & 75, Pi< cadii 1 v. 


TO— ► 202 Main Library 


2 3 


5 6 


1 -month loans may be renewed by calling 642-3405 

6-month loans may be recharged by bringing books to Circulation Desk 

Renewals and recharges may be made 4 days prior to due date 


REIT) ^N 4 1 



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